HERE'S THE STORY.

  Song of the day;; → Òlafur Arnalds - Þú ert sólin -- Alkaa pikkuhiljaa jo vituttamaan, kun väsyttää koko ajan. Aina en osaa väsymyksestä sanoa, onko se fyysistä vai henkistä, mut nyt se on kyllä ollu aikalailla kokonaan fyysistä.

 Hetkinen, mitäs tämä on? Tekstipostaus, mun blogissa? Olin seikkailemassa interwebsin syövereissä aivan eri asian perässä (etsin mistä saisin omia vanhoja potilaskertomuksia luettavaksi -> muistin, että en muista milloin oon viimeksi käynyt silmänpohjakuvauksessa, mutta en löytänyt varattua aikaa, eli ei kai hätää tuon osalta -> lueskelin Omakannasta jotain vanhoja merkintöjä -> päädyin tänne blogiin lukemaan joitain vanhoja tekstejä), ja huomasin, etten mä ole tänne vääntänyt kunnon postausta yli vuoteen. Ja koska mä olen tämmöinen yögoblin, kello on nyt 4:43 ja totta munassa mulla iski inspiraatio tähän just nyt. Paras inspiraatio tulee aina yöllä, jonka takia vihaan sitä, että yhteiskunta toimii aamu-/päiväihmisten mukaan, koska enhän mä voi koskaan valjastaa todellista potentiaaliani, kun se näyttäytyy vain öisin. Viimeksi tosiaan kirjoittelin vuoden 2024 kesällä. Olenhan mä toki sen jälkeenkin kirjoitellut sellasia lyhyempiä kuulumisia noiden biisipostausten yhteytee...

  Song of the day;; → Marlin's Dreaming - I'll Be Round Oh, damn Cooking eggs in the morning sun Could I grab a table for two? No pepper on mine, please And it's far too soon Your beautiful golden hair The sight I'll always miss, oh 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place Cooking eggs for only one Could I grab a table for you? Well, its far too soon And your listening eyes Staring back at me Do you know what you're about to do? 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos...

  Song of the day;; → Dons - Hollow Don't look now Woah, you'll see me crying rivers, I might drown Don't know how Woah-oh, will I ever find my own way out? I don't wanna lose me so cruelly I'm driftin' in and out of who I am So help me understand It's killin' me slow Try to make me just another believer Everybody just pretending they're preachers, preachers It's killin' me slow Yeah, I'd rather let them dig my grave shallow Instead of sellin' out to something so hollow, hollow Not afraid Woah, to tell you all my sins I can't escape I won't change Woah, it's like a bad disease that I can't shake I don't wanna lose me so cruelly I'm driftin' in and out of who I am So help me understand It's killin' me slow Try to make me just another believer Everybody just pretending they're preachers, preachers It's killin' me slow Yeah, I'd rather let them dig my grave shallow Instead of sellin...

  Song of the day;; → dandelion hands - How To Never Stop Being Sad Repeat to yourself that they're not really gone Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you Overanalyze every single word you hear Was this a sign that things were going wrong? No, no, you were the one who cared too hard, not them Stay up every single night staring at your phone Either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons These constant reminders of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream Or praying just for one second you could feel the warmth of equally returned love Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself Always bring your notebook, never stop writing Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip Watch them smile as you get in your car Talk down on yourself whenever possible My life is shit because I deserve it, right? You must have...

  Song of the day;; → Junius - The Time of Perfect Virtue We are followers of the law of one, unite Waiting for the days of the fallen sun to return the fire We'll accept our fate when the glory comes to wipe us out You will see the fear in both you, and me We will flee into the darkest corners to dissolve We will repeat, we will repeat, we will We will repeat, we will, we will repeat It's time for a rebirth in fire; the end is near We are the great divide in the form of a heart, and the first mistake Don't deny the light that was formed in the fire; keep your eyes open There is nothing we can do God is in everything, breathing in you, breathing in me I'm waiting for everyone else to see what we are You will see the fear inside both you, and me; embrace defeat Then we will fall to our knees and scream We will repeat, we will repeat, we will We will repeat, we will, we will repeat -- Tämä päivä menikin sitten nukkuessa. Miksi? En tiedä, ehkä tarvitsin lepoa ihan kunnolla...

  Song of the day;; → Ólafur Arnalds - Ljósið -- Porukat lähti tänään aamupäivällä, jonka jälkeen otin päikkärit ja sitten oon vaan pelaillut. Eilen ne kävi pyöräilemässä ja me vietettiin Runtin kanssa aikaa kahdestaan. Se ei yleensä oo mikään sylikoira, mut nyt se eilen aamulla oli aika pitkään mun sylissä, eli sillä oli ihan selvästi ollut mua ikävä (tunne on erittäin molemminpuolinen). En muuten muistanut sanoa, mutta perjantaina oli tosi kiva terapia. Juteltiin kerrankin asioista, jotka ei ole niin raskaita. Juttu lähti rönsyilemään siitä, kun ensin tuli puheeksi tyyli (terapeutti kehui mun tyyliä, se on kuulemma kivan omaperäinen) ja siitä edettiin sitten vähän kaikkeen muuhun, kuten siihen, miten koen oman sukupuoleni, seksuaalisuuteni ynnä muita tämmösiä juttuja. Huomenna on ns. vapaapäivä, mietin että pitäisköhän ottaa härkää sarvista kiinni ja ruveta tuota vaatehuonetta järjestelemään, kun se on lähinnä yks saatanan kasa.

  Song of the day;; → COIN - Holy Ghost I've been this soft and simple You've barely seen my waves I've been making circles Nearly all my days It's all in magazines It's in the wet concrete Somehow, I saw it coming But now, I'm caught between And I was always running from you Hiding what you held as the truth But I'm not your holy ghost When your wrists are bound It's a deadly sin to give a man that crown You can't say all hope is lost When it was never found Let it settle in, then settle down It's not some message hidden Less of a daring fate A broken stained-glass window Our eyes still bleed the same It's all in magazines It's in the 'word' concrete Somehow, I saw it coming But now, I'm caught between And I was always running from you I was always running from you But I'm not your holy ghost When your wrists are bound It's a deadly sin to give a man that crown You can't say all hope is lost When it was never foun...

  Song of the day;; → Silvester Belt - Luktelk Diena viena ir vėl kita Tarytum čia data sustojo Einu tai ten, einu tai šen Ir kai sutems, ir vėl iš naujo Rytoj, rytoj, rytoj Pažadu mylėt tave rytoj Laboj, laboj, laboj Surasi tu mane nakty laboj Ar aš vis dar gyvas? Ar tebepažįsti mane? Saulė nepakyla Pasakyk, ar liksi šalia? Luktelk, luktelk Dar vieną minutę, luktelk Luktelk, luktelk Dar vieną minutę, luktelk Naktis viena, naktis kita Kaip visada, aš vėl iš naujo Rytoj, rytoj, rytoj Pažadu mylėt tave rytoj Ar aš vis dar gyvas? Ar tebepažįsti mane? Saulė nepakyla Pasakyk, ar liksi šalia? Luktelk, luktelk Dar vieną minutę, luktelk Luktelk, luktelk Dar vieną minutę, luktelk Stovime tyloje grojančio radijo Nebenoriu šokt, nebenoriu šokt Stovime tyloje grojančio radijo Nebenoriu šokt, bet man reikia šokt Ar aš vis dar gyvas? Ar tebepažįsti mane? Saulė nepakyla Pasakyk, ar liksi šalia? Luktelk, luktelk Dar vieną minutę, luktelk Luktelk, luktelk Dar vieną minutę, luktelk -- Tällä biisillä...

  Song of the day;; → Thornhill - Where We Go When We Die Can you believe that our time ends now? Just face the fact we all live 'til we drown You see they made it all for show Everything you see, everywhere you go (Paradise?) Hybrid lungs in an opaque light Green offset bleeding out the night We lie still in the way of time Lacing wings in this paradigm If I die would you make it work? What about me isn't enough to you? Do you dream when I'm asleep? Take a look at yourself as you drink hypocrisy Land of the free I don't want to leave again Land of the free? World of the dead Dead If I burn, would you let me die? I just want to know what it feels like I can't dream, if I can't sleep Take a look at yourself and tell me what you see My mind locked up in this shell's decay Stalker watching the prey today I'll stay feeling in hell to say I have something I need to say You speak of a world I knew before we lost the air We all know the lie - you let it die You...

  Song of the day;; → The Great Discord - Omen Go, I'm sorry How convenient for me Delicious, enticing Vicious and frightening It was all just smoke And mirrors, and mirrors Longing for something different Lost track of what is real Drowning in your zeal I've come to understand that it's all too late for me Soulless and hollow-hearted Better dead than in despair You are everywhere I've come to understand that it's all too late for us If I go, you follow Our demons, are shallow The omens, point to our rapture Oh, make you believe it And I know, I've seen it There's nothing left Of the attraction Longing for something different Lost track of what is real Drowning in your zeal I've come to understand that it's all too late for me Soulless and hollow-hearted Better dead than in despair You are everywhere I've come to understand that it's all too late for us Go, I'm sorry Longing for something different Lost track of what is real Drowning in y...

  Song of the day;; → Biosphere - Poa Alpina -- Eilen olin taas niin väsynyt, etten jaksanut postata. Oli fysioterapia, mutta pidettiin se etänä. Ei haitannut, koska sää oli aivan sysipaska. En päässyt tänä aamuna lenkille, kun verensokeri oli niin matalalla. Iltapäivällä näin kaveria, käytiin Tokmannissa, Normalissa (ostin Runtille tuliaisia, semmosia makkaratikkuja joista se tykkää) ja syömässä, ennen kuin tultiin mun luo ja katottiin Harry Potter ja Salaisuuksien kammio (eli mun lemppari). Katotaan, josko huomenaamulla pääsis sitten lenkille, kun eilen oli tosiaan niin huono keli etten kehannut mennä ja tänään tuo verensokeri.

  Song of the day;; → Passion Pit - Take a Walk All these kinds of places make it seem like it's been ages Tomorrow, some new building will scrape the sky I love this country dearly, I can feel the ladder clearly But I never thought I'd be alone to try Once, I was outside Penn Station selling red and white carnations We were still alone, my wife and I Before we married, saved my money, brought my dear wife over Now I work to bring my family stateside But off the boat, they stayed a while, then scattered across the coast Once a year I'll see them for a week or so at most I took a walk Take a walk, take a walk, take a walk Take a walk, take a walk, take a walk (Oh) I took a walk Take a walk, take a walk, take a walk Take a walk, take a walk, take a walk (Oh) Practice isn't perfect, but the market cuts a loss I remind myself that times could be much worse My wife won't ask me questions, there's not so much to ask And she'll never flaunt around an empty purse On...

  Song of the day;; → Marcus & Martinus - Unforgettable She comes alive at night When her prey's asleep Make your eyes go blind Now you're in too deep She gon' chew you up and leave you empty, hollow Then she'll spit you out, anyway, I follow She gon' hurt you bad, but it feels so good I don't care, no, I don't care You better know she's dangerous She is unforgettable (Unforgettable) And it feels so good, it hurts She is unforgettable Woah She's unforgettable She's unforgettable She's unforgettable Her lovе is venomous (Ah) It's gettin' serious (It's gеttin' serious) She gon' chew you up and leave you empty, hollow Then she'll spit you out, anyway, I follow She gon' hurt you bad, but it feels so good I don't care, no, I don't care You better know she's dangerous She is unforgettable (Unforgettable) And it feels so good, it hurts She is unforgettable Woah She's unforgettable She's unforgettab...

  Song of the day;; → Bad Omens - Like A Villain Look into my face, then look again We are not the same, we're different To tell your tales and fables You couldn't wait You need a new clean slate without the dents A place to put your pain, your consequence When you look into the mirror Are you even there? I don't wanna know all your secrets 'cause I'll tell It's hard enough being alone with myself I don't know how long I'll be holding on I know you tried your hardest, I know that you meant it well But you pushed me to the edge and I slipped and then I fell I don't know how long I'll be holding on So write a brand-new page, then write again I know your act is staged, yet you pretend All while you're turnin' tables With missing legs I think you've overstayed your welcome in So go the fuck away, don't come again I'll see your face in the fire And burn it out I don't wanna know all your secrets 'cause I'll tell It'...

  Song of the day;; → Rosetta - Homesick Hey, yeah Just one more, I'll walk away All the everything you win Turns to nothing today And I forget how to move When my mouth is this dry And my eyes are bursting hearts In a blood-stained sky Oh, it was sweet It was wild Oh, how we I trembled Stuck in honey, honey Cling to me So just one more (Just one more) Just one, just one go Inspire in me, the desire in me (More) To never go home To never go home (To never going home) You'll never go home Just one more I'll walk away All the everything you mean Turns to nothing today So just one more Just, just (Just one more) One more go (Go) Inspire in me (More), the desire in me To never go home (Just go) To never go home (Go home) To never go home Just one more Walk away (To never go home) All the everything you mean Turns to nothing to me And I forget how to move When my mouth is all dry These eyes are burning hearts In a bloodless sky Just one more Walk away All the everything you mean...

  Song of the day;; → Akira Kosemura - Orgel -- En tiiä, mikä mua nyt taas vaivaa. Tämä päivä meni taas kokonaan nukkuessa, mut en osaa yhtään sanoa, onko väsymys fyysistä vai henkistä. Toki oon jo aikoja sitten tiedostanut sen, että syksy on mulle aina aika vaikeaa aikaa, joten voi johtua ihan siitäkin. Huomenna on onneks terapia, niin pääsee puhumaan näistä jutuista.

  Song of the day;; → Finish Ticket - Color Hoping for a change Running from the noise inside my brain The stranger on my face Something's gotta give We're going through the motions, paralyzed I'll freeze up every time What the hell do I know? Looking for an answer Learn from my mistakes the cycle starts again Amplify this feeling, a feeling I remember On the edge of something yet to show All my demons are behind me Everything was black and white inside But I'm seeing color We grow as we learn to let go Pushing through the black and white inside See in color Outside of our skin Waiting my whole life just to begin Patient but giving in Still I celebrate Stronger with each scar and every scratch that I've  But what the hell do I know? Looking for an answer Learn from my mistakes the cycle starts again Amplify this feeling, a feeling I remember On the edge of something yet to show All my demons are behind me Everything was black and white inside But I'm seeing colo...

  Song of the day;; → Bambie Thug - Doomsday Blue Avada Kedavra, I speak to destroy The feelings I have, I cannot avoid Through twisted tongues, a hex deployed on you That all the pretties in your bed Escape your hands and make you sad And all the things you wish you had, you lose I, I I know you're living a lie I, I I see the scars in your eyes I, I I know you're living a lie I, I I guess you'd rather have a star than the Moon I guess I always overestimate you Hoodoo all the things that you do I'm down, down in my doomsday blues I, I I know you're living a lie I, I I know you're living a lie Avada Kedavra, the thoughts in my head Thе places I touch when lying in bed Thе visions of you, the words that you said, undo My heartbeat buried in the ground And to the strings I bind, you're bound So when you sleep you'll hear the sound (Cuckoo) I, I I know you're living a lie I, I I see the scars in your eyes I, I I know you're living a lie I, I I guess ...

  Song of the day;; → The Hunna - Can't Break What's Broken You can't lie to a liar You can't steal from a thief You can't preach to the choir You can't suck blood from a leech Look at me now, I'm a killer Look at me now, I'm a sinner I ate your heart for my dinner Look at me now, I'm a winner You can't fuck me up I'm already fucked And I know where this is goin' (Goin') But you can't break, you can't break what's broken You can't fuck me up I'm already fucked And I know what you were hopin' (You were hopin') But you can't break, you can't break what's broken There's no teachin' your teacher 'Cause it's too late for me I'm the lightnin' and thunder Brеak you down and repeat Look at me now, I'm a killеr Look at me now, I'm a sinner I ate your heart for my dinner Look at me now, I'm a winner You can't fuck me up I'm already fucked And I know where this i...

  Song of the day;; → The Moth Gatherer - The Drone Kingdom Information, the river we caress Baptized in it’s passing water Scattered with partial clarity Pollution leaves us ignorant This machine is built for pigs Abandoned by bees, no enlightenment Escaping the collapsing hive Oppress, regress, become a drone We’re coal for the leaders to burn Small suns light the engines of gold Machines self sustained by deceit The animal farm forever drones on The animal farm drones on -- Tänään oli fysioterapia, se meni tosi kivasti. Oli taas tosi lämmin päivä. Ihan kivaa joo, mutta vähän haluaisin jo kaivella villapaitoja esille... No, eiköhän niitäkin kohta pääse käyttämään. Piti nähdä kaverin kanssa tänään, mutta hänelle oli iskeny flunssa, joten päätettiin nähä jonain toisena päivänä. Huomenna pitää nyt vihdoin ja viimein pestä sitä helvetin pyykkiä.

  Song of the day;; → Chris Remo - Prologue -- Tänään oli sen ryhmän eka tapaaminen. Eipä siinä ollu oikiastaan sen kummempaa, käytiin läpi ns. sääntöjä ja muita käytännön asioita ja vähän ''tutustuttiin''. Ahdisti jonkun verran, mutta se helpotti kyllä. Huomenna on fysioterapia.

  Song of the day;; → CRUISR - Get Out Try to look alive You're a little bit dead inside And it shows In all the little things you do You're falling off the face again 'Cause you just had to get the edge on me Now I'm a little too old for this Ah ooh, see, I don't care for you, you babe Ah ooh, you're such a waste of space, please Get out, girl, you're in my way Did you think I'd fall for the little games you play? No, I'm not that kind of man So take the upper hand and Get out, girl, you're in my way You try to make me insecure And come late with a one-word answer It's cool, honey, I won't fall for it Girl, I can see right through All the moves you try to use on me Now I'm a little too old for this Get out, girl, you're in my way Did you think I'd fall for the little games you play? No, I'm not that kind of man So take the upper hand and Get out, girl, you're in my way Ah ooh, see, I don't care for you and I Ah oo...

  Song of the day;; → alyona alyona & Jerry Heil - Teresa & Maria Джере-джере-джерело пробива собі шлях Що би, що би не було, світ на її плечах Мані-мані-манівці — звивисті, скелясті Але, знай, в твоїй руці твоє власне щастя Давай, мала, палай I'm not holy, I'm alive З нами мама Тереза й Діва Марія Босі, ніби по лезу, йшли по землі With us Mama Teresa, Diva Maria All the divas were born as the human beings З нами мама Тереза й Діва Марія Босі, ніби по лезу, йшли по землі With us Mama Teresa, Diva Maria All the divas were born as the human beings Навіть ще змаля ми шукали шлях Та життя петля ніби для тих, хто падає На своїх плечах ще мале дівча Несе з болю чан і вбача, що то вада є Знову не така, то надто м'яка Одяг на кістках, голяка чи то під вінець Де твоє дитя? Що твоє життя? Та роки ж летять, і, затям, скоро вже кінець І хай хтось хоче, аби ми зламались Хай бува в тобі заряду не по лікоть, а по палець І хай хтось хова за посмішкою ненависть і заздрість Коли ти в...

  Song of the day;; → Coldbones - Running Up That Hill And if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places Be running up that road Be running up that hill Be running up that building And if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places Be running up that road Be running up that hill With no problems So much hate for the ones we love Tell me we both matter, don't we? Come on, baby, come on, darling Let me steal this moment from you now Come on, angel, come on, come on, darling Let's exchange the experience And if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places Be running up that road Be running up that hill With no problems And if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places Be running up that road Be running up that hill -- Tää biisi, joka on varmaan mun suosikkiversio tästä kappaleesta, oli mun Spotifyn kuunnelluin vuonna 2021. En edelleen...

  Song of the day;; → Northlane - Let It Happen It's always around me, all this noise But not really as loud as the voice saying Let it happen, let it happen (It's gonna feel so good) Just let it happen, let it happen All this running around Trying to cover my shadow An ocean growing inside All the others seem shallow All this running around Bearing down on my shoulders I can hear an alarm Must be morning I heard about a whirlwind that's coming 'round It's gonna carry off all that isn't bound And when it happens, when it happens (I'm gonna be holding on) So let it happen, let it happen All this running around I can't fight it much longer Something's trying to get out And it's never been closer If my ticker fails Make up some other story And if I never come back Tell my mother I'm sorry I will not vanish and you will not scare me Try to get through it, try to bounce to it All the while thinking I might as well do it They be lovin' someone ...

  Song of the day;; → Jan Hammer - Crockett's Theme -- Huomenna lähdetään porukoitten ja Runtin kanssa viikonlopuksi Rokualle!

  Song of the day;; → Hunter Hunted - Gentle Folks Calling all the gentle folks with arms in the air Time for marching two by two, so throw away your cares Survive, just try to survive Find the luck you're standing by in hope to combat soon Put together, embrace yourself, hold onto your festoon Goodbye, this is the goodbye Callin' all the animals inside Callin' all the animals inside (Hey) Storm on the way, we forget what it's for So hard to be brave, don't believe anymore Don't believe anymore Don't believe anymore Calling all the gentle folks with arms in the air Keep from marching two by two and find a way to care Survive, just try to survive Pine for love, your kiss goodbye, you know you'll see it soon Put together and make yourself, hold onto your festoon Callin' all the animals inside Callin' all the animals inside (Hey) Storm on the way, we forget what it's for So hard to be brave, don't believe anymore Don't believe anymore Do...

  Song of the day;; → Baby Lasagna - Rim Tim Dagi Dim (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) Ayy, I'm a big boy now I'm ready to leave, ciao, mamma, ciao Ayy, I'm a big boy now I'm going away and I sold my cow Before I leave, I must confess I need a round of decompress One more time for all the good times Rim-tim, tagi-digi, dim-tim-tim (Oah) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi-digi-digi-digi-digi) Gonna miss you all, but mostly the cat Gonna miss my hay, gonna miss my bed But most of all, I'ma miss the dance So come on y'all, let us prance (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) (Rim-tim, tagi-digi) Now don't call, don't write I'm leavin' with the first light Don't cry but dance Rim-tim, tagi-digi, dim-ti...