It's no good

 Song of the day;;

→ Brother Firetribe - For Better or for Worse

It's so hard to keep away, it's not easy

To think about you every day, every night

Like a fool I am, I'm driving by your house again

You'll never know what it's like

You'd never understand

Like in my dreams before, I'll be knocking at your door

Trying to survive the emotional storm

Counting all the days, I can't wait to see you face to face

Crazy, tragic accident, my cross to bear, you're heaven sent

For better or for worse, for better or for worse, I'll be there

You're my magic accident, you took me to the other side

For better or for worse, for better or for worse, I'll be there

I don't know what's right or wrong and frankly I don't care

All I know is I can't take this anymore

In my mind I promised not to cross the line

All the grief and pain and the mess I made

There's just no other way

Like in my dreams before, I'll be knocking at your door

Trying to survive the emotional storm

Counting all the days, I can't wait to see you face to face

Crazy, tragic accident, my cross to bear, you're heaven sent

For better or for worse, for better or for worse, I'll be there

You're my magic accident, you took me to the other side

For better or for worse, for better or for worse, I'll be

Crying for you

Dying for you

How my heart's still yearning for you

You're in my life for better or for worse

Crazy, tragic accident, my cross to bear, you're heaven sent

For better or for worse, for better or for worse, I'll be there

You're my magic accident, you took me to the other side

For better or for worse, for better or for worse, I'll be there

--

Tänään oli lääkäri. Se meni ihan hyvin, haetaan kuntoutustuelle jälleen vuodeksi jatkoa ja varmaan joskus syksyllä pääsen psykologin tutkimuksiin (koska en oo semmoisissa vielä käynyt, vaikka oon ollut tuolla asiakkaana monta vuotta jo). Lupauduin myös käymään verikokeissa, koska edellisistä on vierähtänyt jo liian kauan (hups), joten varasin perjantaille ajan. Fakta numero 75: mulla ei oo sinänsä semmosta comfort-ruokaa, mutta jostain syystä mannapuuro on ehkä tätä lähimpänä.

Judas

 Song of the day;;

→ Akira Kosemura - Wavering Heart

--

Fakta numero 74: mulla on aina ollut vaikia saada ystäviä, koska en luota ihmisiin ja lämpenen tosi hitaasti.

The heart from your hate

 Song of the day;;

→ Bonobo & Rhye - Break Apart

It's hard to take all of this haze

It's hard to take all of this haze, this haze

First move they think they never saw

Be careful with me, be careful with

Gentle with me

I should've heard your fear

So wasteful, yeah, so wasteful

I should've heard your needs

So wasteful, so wasteful, so wasteful

We've thrown apart these pieces

We've grown apart these pieces

So, I don't go home

Tell me love, tell me love

You're my favourite, you're my favourite

But we're phasing, but we're phasing

You're my favourite, you're my favourite

But we're phasing, but we're phasing

You're my favourite, you're my favourite

But we're phasing, but we're phasing

You're my favourite, you're my favourite

You're my

Instead of something to break apart

Instead, it's just broke apart

Stand up and shake this heart

Instead, it's just a break apart from us

I should've heard your fear

Shame on me

I should've heard your needs

Shame on me

Help me out, on me, help me out, on me

Help me out, on me, help me out, on me

Help me out, on me, help me out, on me

Help me out

--

Fakta numero 73: kaksi leffaa, jotka saa mut aina itkemään, on Hachiko sekä Tulikärpästen hauta.

Fix this

 Song of the day;;

→ Sam Tinnesz & Zayde Wølf - Man or a Monster

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

Do you hold the light or is darkness underneath?

In your hands, there's a touch that can heal

But in those same hands is the power to kill

Are you a man or a monster?

Are you a man or a monster?

Are you a man or a monster?

When you look at yourself, are you a man

Or a monster?

It's so hard to tell which side you're on

One day is Hell, the next day is the dawn

The lines are blurred, you keep rubbing your eyes

The tables turn, now it's time to survive

Are you a man or a monster?

Are you a man or a monster?

Are you a man or a monster?

When you look at yourself, are you a man

Or a monster?

You can't take back the damage you've done

Oh, you can hide but you can't run

No, you can't take back the damage you've done

Afraid of what you might become

A man or a monster

A man or a monster

Are you a man or a monster?

Are you a man or a monster?

Are you a man or a monster?

When you look at yourself

Are you a man or a monster?

--

Fakta numero 72: mulla on moniakin pet peevejä, mutta yksi suurin on varmaan mässyttäminen/maiskuttaminen. En vaan voi sietää sitä.

The bee

 Song of the day;;

→ DIR EN GREY - Merciless Cult

悲観的な君と無慈悲な君と

我 可愛い君は あぁ 其処で何を視ている

比較と比例の中 叫び狂い果てる

お前が望んだ結末だろう

さぞかしロマンティストなんだろうぜ ah

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

愛してください この血もその意味も

不意に思い返す 此処に愛は無い

繰り返し貫く あぁ 何処か壊れてゆく

比較と比例の中 叫び狂い果てる

お前が望んだ 結末だろう

さぞかしロマンティストなんだろうぜ ah

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

愛してください この血も その意味も

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

Gasp for breath

愛してください この日に この価値を

--

Olen itseasiassa kuunnellut Diruja enemmän näin aikuisiällä kuin sillon teininä, mutta tämä biisi kuuluu mun ehdottomiin suosikkeihin jo niiltä ajoilta. Fakta numero 71: mun viimeisin pakkomielle on varmaan Sims 4, koska mä rakastan uusien simien luomista (se että pelaanko mä niillä koskaan onkin sitten aivan eri asia...). Sekä It Lives. Tietäjät tietää. ILW:n Obsidian Cutia odotellessa...

Unstoppable

 Song of the day;;

→ Palisades - Fade Away

It's been so long since I felt good about myself

Does anybody care to know?

Does anybody care to see?

My eyes are turning grey as darkness blinds the light

I never know which way to go

At a loss for words and it shows

And I've tried so hard to hide the pain

From everything

What I feel inside never comes out right

Can you take it all away?

If I try to break, would you keep me safe?

Will you fake it?

Or will you just let it all fade away?

I've let you step inside my apathetic mind

Judging by the way I've learned

I give it all and just gеt burned

Just a shadow behind me, I will bе alright

I can take the rest from here

I'll find a way to disappear

And I've tried so hard to hide the pain

From everything

What I feel inside never comes out right

Can you take it all away?

If I try to break, would you keep me safe?

Will you fake it?

Or will you just let it all fade away?

Fade away

Fade away

Over and over until I've lost all hope in you

What I feel inside never comes out right

Can you take it all away?

If I try to break, would you keep me safe?

Will you fake it?

Or will you just let it all

What I feel inside never comes out right

If I try to break

Will you fake it?

Or will you just let it all

Will you just let it all

Will you just let it all fade away?

--

Tänään oli terapia, juteltiin ja käytiin vähän käppäilemässä. Kävin sen jälkeen apteekissa ja Tokmannilla. Oli kiva keli. Fakta numero 70: mä tykkäisin kyllä matkustella (muutenkin kuin täällä kotimaassa), mutta a) ei rahea ja b) varsinkin kesällä insuliinien kanssa ois aivan vitun liian stressaavaa touhua.

I am above

 Song of the day;;

→ Bonobo - Second Sun

--

Fakta numero 69 (hehe): mulla ei ole koskaan ollut mitään unelma-ammattia enkä ole koskaan oikein osannut kuvitella mitä haluaisin tehdä, koska en oikein osaa mitään eikä mua oikeastaan mikään juurikaan kiinnosta. Bonusfakta on se, että rakastan tätä biisiä todella paljon.