Siirry pääsisältöön

I can't decide

 Song of the day;;

→ City State - Requiem


I felt the rush of love in my bones

But when your demons lashed out, it wasn't enough

After all, I couldn't hold you up and I woke up alone

I should've seen this coming

You were a shadow of the one that I loved

But I couldn't let go

I covered my eyes with the thought you would be fine

And when the sickness spread

It was free to take what was left

Take what was left that night

All of this to feel alive for one last time

I should've known, I should've seen it all along


Shadows creep under my eyelids

I don't think the night's ever been quite this cold

What will it take to escape my thoughts?

I thought I knew you, I thought I could see through you

I don't think the night's ever been quite this long

I'm shutting down, consumed by the signs that I should've seen


I always hoped when you fell away

You'd take me too

'Cause I'm lost now, stuck in place

I can't let go of you, let go of you

Time goes by, bleeds into the next life

All of this just to feel alive

For one last time, another meaningless high

All of this just to feel alive


I'm a stranger in my own home

Desperately searching for what went wrong

I'm already too far gone to find solace in your loss

 

I always hoped when you fell away

You'd take me too

'Cause I'm lost now, stuck in place

I can't let go of you, let go of you

Time goes by, bleeds into the next life

All of this just to feel alive

For one last time, another meaningless high

All of this just to feel alive

--

Nää lääkärikäynnit on kyllä aika tosi mielenkiintosia. Mut mä olen aika helpottunut. Kerrankin mut otettiin tosissaan. Lääkäri kirjotti mulle sairaslomaa heinäkuun loppuun asti, sain uudet lääkkeet ja luultavasti jossain vaiheessa pääsen päiväsairaalaan tän syömishäiriön tiimoilta. Lisäksi mulla alkaa jossain vaiheessa se psykofyysinen fysioterapia. Pitää huomenna muistaa laittaa Kelalle hakemus sairauspäivärahasta ja katkasta opintotuki. Lääkäri oli sitä mieltä, että mä olen liian pitkään laiminlyönyt omaa hyvinvointiani ja vaan pakottanu itteni eteenpäin ja nyt on korkia aika keskittyä omaan hyvinvointiin. Mä olen samaa mieltä ja tiesin kyllä, että kaikkien ongelmien hoitamatta jättäminen johtais vielä tähän. 

Tunnisteet:

Kommentit

Lähetä kommentti

Tämän blogin suosituimmat tekstit

Falling on

  Song of the day;; → Sigríður - Interconnectivity -- En kamalasti jaksanu mitään tänään järjestellä koska kädet ja jalat on aivan vitun liian poikki eilisestä, mut laittelin vähän kenkiä vaatehuoneeseen sekä kirjoja, mangaa ja levyjä kirjahyllyyn. Laittelin myös vähän ledvaloja, kun tykkään iltaisin olla muuten pimiässä mut sillein että on muutama tommonen valoketju päällä. Eihän mulla mikään kiire ole, että pitäis kaiken olla heti tiptop-kunnossa. Huomenna fysioterapia heti aamusta ja sen jälkeen käyn kaupassa.
Lähetä kommentti
Lue lisää

Zombie

  Song of the day;; → TesseracT - Of Mind - Nocturne Climb You're dehydrated Fly Your wings are jaded Cry You're enervated Die For what you believe in Try You've nearly made it Why? You're the plague within my dreams Soaring through an atmosphere of an adequate lack of strength And we're responsible The truth is that it will end here Denial's an impairment of your fear Can we save us from ourselves? Can we save us from ourselves? (This is the saviour and its form) You can break through Wake me up Tell me it's gone False hope sells lies I won't buy We are still one Let's attempt escape Melancholia will feed We'll admit defeat The Vox Populi will cease The air is thickening We are drifting You're the plague within my dreams Soaring through an atmosphere of an adequate lack of strength And we're responsible (And we're responsible) The truth is that it will end here Denial's an impairment of your fear Can we save us from ourselves? Ca...
Lähetä kommentti
Lue lisää

Black x white

  Song of the day;; → Father John Misty - I'm Writing a Novel I ran down the road, pants down to my knees Screaming please come help me That Canadian shaman gave a little too much to me! And I'm writing a novel Because it's never been done before First house that I saw, I wrote house up on the door And told the people who lived there they had to get out 'Cause my reality is realer than yours And there's no time in the present And there's a black dog on the bed I went to the backyard to burn my only clothes And the dog ran out and said, you can't turn nothing Into nothingness with me no more Well, I'm no doctor, but that monkey might be right And if he is, I'll be walking him my whole life I rode to Malibu on a dune buggy with Neil He said, you're gonna have to drown me down on the beach If you ever want to write the real And I said, I'm sorry Young man, what was your name again? Now everywhere I go in West Hollywood Is filled with people pret...
Lähetä kommentti
Lue lisää