Me against the world

 Song of the day;;

→ The Parallel - Who I've Become

Pressure builds, repeated failures

View of self worth tainted from birth

These words cut even said with a grin

The sinking feelings set-in

Can I alter nurture, change?

Yet I always end up running from the truth

Lost in static, melodramatic

And every time I talk

It makes me nervous

But everything I’m doing has its place

These patterns change and rearrange

I’m learning who I’ve become

Pressure builds, thunder fated

Boom or bust I weather out

Can’t catch my breath

A dance with death

Everything I wanted

Tear apart the instinctive

Been stitched with unforgiving patterns

I fail to recognize

I guess I’m just another slave to nurture

Motivation leads to deflation

Carry these feelings away

You can’t make a decision

Impacting life, causing strife

Relapsing like I’m never changing

Carve me in stone, is this really me?

I can’t believe

Maybe I’m naive

Every time I talk

It makes me nervous

But everything I’m doing has its place

These patterns change and rearrange

I’m learning who I’ve become

I’ve my lost my way, in years of my failure

Taking my time to cleanse

The mind, the body and the soul

I will create the balance

That I’ve been seeking

Balance

I am only what I’ve been through

Eliminating all the misuse

Understanding how to hear you

Listen, don’t react

Every time I talk

It makes me nervous

But everything I’m doing has its place

These patterns change and rearrange

I’m learning who I’ve become

Pressure builds, thunder fated

Boom or bust I weather out

Can’t catch my breath

A dance with death

Everything I wanted

Tear apart the instinctive

Been stitched with unforgiving patterns

I fail to recognize

--

Huomenna ois sitten tarkotus lähtiä takas Ouluun. Aika jännä, että nyt mää oon jo jonkin aikaa kaivannu sitä, kun taas esim. ekana kesänä sen jälkee, ko muutin pois kotoa, en ois halunnu lähtiä takas Joensuuhun ollenkaan. Nyt musta on tosi kiva päästä kämpille. Aivan ensimmäisenä mua odottaa saatananmoinen työmaa vaatekappien sun muitten järjestely... Siinä vierähtääkin sit sunnuntai. Maanantaina sit ois tarkotus käydä hoitotarvikejakelussa ja kirjastossa, tiistaina alkaa eka kurssi ja keskiviikkona ois sitten suunnattava sinne mt-palveluiden pariin (no en tiedä miksi kutsua niitä vielä). Syyslomalla siskon ois taas tarkotus tulla käymään pariksi päiväksi, ja sitten tuun itekin taas käymään kotona.