HERE'S THE STORY.

  Song of the day;; → Brian Eno, Jon Hopkins & Leo Abrahams - Complex Heaven

  Song of the day;; → New Canyons - Everyone Is Dark Everyone is dark This life Hold on I don't wanna talk about this fate Everyday you live feels wrong I don't want to live inside your fear Everyone is dark This life Hold on I don't wanna talk about this fate Everyday you live feels wrong I don't want to live inside your fear Everyone is dark This life Hold on I don't wanna talk about this fate Everyday you live feels wrong I don't want to live inside your fear

  Song of the day;; → Nine Inch Nails - Last Gave up trying to figure it out, but my head got lost along the way Worn out from giving it up, but my soul I pissed it all away Still stings these shattered nerves Pigs we get what pigs deserve I'm going all the way down, I'm leaving today Come, come, come on you've gotta fill me up Come, come, gotta let me inside of you Come, come, come on you've gotta fix me up Come, come, gotta let me inside of you Still feel it all slipping away but it doesn't matter anymore Everybody's still chipping away but it doesn't matter anymore Look through these blackened eyes You'll see ten thousand lies My lips may promise but my heart is a whore Come, come, come on you've gotta fix me up Come, come, gotta let me inside of you Come, come, come on you've gotta fill me up Come, come, gotta let me get through to you This isn't meant to last This is for right now This isn't meant to last This is for right now This i...

  Song of the day;; → HELLYEAH - Love Falls Have you cried yourself to sleep? Have you felt this incomplete? Have you ever cut yourself so deep To see if you still bleed? Do you ever feel wanted? Do you ever feel needed? Do you ever feel happy? Or are you just like me? I'm hanging by a thread, a rope The noose around my neck, I choke 'Cause every time I fall in Love falls out of me I'm hardened like a rock, a stone The brick inside my chest, alone 'Cause every time I fall in Love falls out of me Love falls out of me Have you ever wished for death? And prayed all night for your last breath? Have you ever wanted to forget The failure of your dreams? Because I've never felt wanted And I've never felt needed And I'll never be happy But I guess that's just me I'm hanging by a thread, a rope The noose around my neck, I choke 'Cause every time I fall in Love falls out of me I'm hardened like a rock, a stone The brick inside my chest, alone 'Caus...

  Song of the day;; → Brian Eno - Always Returning (II)

  Song of the day;; → She Sir - I Love You, Blowtorch Eyes I feel the sound and it's hollow The empty reeds I feel the sun come down, yeah But she never called him sun I feel the sun come down, yeah   I feel the ground and it's covered With eyes that care In the eyes of another Ties and brings us somewhere   I feel the sun come down, yeah But you never called him sun, no I feel the sun come down, yeah   I feel that sun, that's burning (I feel the sun come down) Tell me all you need to see (I feel the sun come down) You're taking, I'm not telling   Burn -- Käytiin tänään porukoitten kanssa roadtripillä Savonlinnassa. Kuljeskeltiin ympäriinsä, käytiin museossa ja syötiin jätskit. Onhan se tosi nätti kaupunki näin kesällä (vaikka eikös me suomalaiset sanota jokaista kaupunkia nätiksi kesäkaupungiksi?). Nähtiin norppakin, mutta ei keretty ottaa siitä kuvia. Runttia harmitti olla yksin (sisko on Kuopiorockissa), mutta se sai lohdutukseksi ranskalaisia. Se rakastaa ra...

  Song of the day;; → Twenty One Pilots - Ode to Sleep I wake up fine and dandy, but then by the time I find it handy To rip my heart apart and start planning my crash landing I go up, up, up, up, up to the ceiling Then I feel my soul start leaving like an old man's hair receding I'm pleading, please, oh please, on my knees repeatedly asking Why it's got to be like this, is this living free? I don't wanna be the one, be the one who has the Sun's blood on my hands, I'll tell the moon Take this weapon forged in darkness Some see a pen, I see a harpoon I'll stay awake 'cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight Why am I not scared in the morning? I don't hear those voices calling I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out I swear I heard demons yelling Those crazy words they were spelling They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone But I'll tell 'em, why won't you let me go? Do I threaten all your plans? I'm ins...

  Song of the day;; → Gojira - Silvera Quit moaning about fate and change Stand up on your feet and rise With every fall you get the pain, you learn the lesson Start now, open your eyes Dead bodies falling from the sky We are the ape with the vision of the killing A rain of shame that fills the mines No other blood in me but mine Time to open your eyes to this genocide When you clear your mind, you see it all You're receiving the gold of a better life When you change yourself, you change the world Your heart is pounding in the brain As they drag you naked in the mud A devil's dancing in the rain How could you fall so low? No, we will never let go Let us watch them die You might also like Time to open your eyes to this genocide When you clear your mind, you see it all You're receiving the gold of a better life When you change yourself, you change the world

  Song of the day;; → Atrium Carceri - Intro / Menu -- Tuntuu tavallaan pahalta ees ajatella, saati sitten aktuaalisesti tuntea, näin, mutta mulla on ekaa kertaa koti-ikävä kämpille. Se on perseestä, koska mä tykkään kyllä olla porukoitten ja etenkin Runtin kanssa, mut huomaan selvästi, että mulla alkaa olla vähän sellanen epämukava ja tukahtunu olo. En malta oottaa, että pääsen kotiin.

  Song of the day;; → Larkins - Sugar Sweet I took a wrong turn down a right path And you were right there standin' in front of me And as the light hit, I kinda liked it more Dropped to the floor, swept away with the tide I breathe in, and tell her I feel fine I feel fine How was I to know That you were in my veins? And we would talk all night for hours You were sugar sweet all the same And how was I to know We could be more than just good friends? Would talk all night for hours You were sugar sweet 'til the end I took a right turn down a wrong path And you were still there standin' in front of me But though I fight it, I kinda like it more Dropped to the floor, swept away with the tide I breathe in, and tell her I feel fine I feel fine How was I to know That you were in my veins? And we would talk all night for hours You were sugar sweet all the same And how was I to know We could be more than just good friends? Would talk all night for hours You were sugar sweet 'til ...

  Song of the day;; → Manic Street Preachers - (I Miss the) Tokyo Skyline Lost on my own in the blazing sun Down through the streets of Tokyo Feeling like an alien is so much fun This place somehow feels like a second home I dream of the Tokyo skyline I miss the emptiness and the silence I long for the non-communication Everything is happily lost in translation I miss the Tokyo skyline I miss the smog and the sunshine Every night, I sit and remember This love I feel for a modern wonder I dream of the Tokyo skyline I miss the emptiness and the silence I long for the non-communication Everything is happily lost in translation Lost on my own in the blazing sun Down through the streets of Tokyo Feeling like an alien is so much fun This place somehow feels like a second home I miss the Tokyo skyline I miss the smog and the sunshine Every night I sit and remember This love I feel for a modern wonder

Song of the day;; → In Flames - The Truth We are, we are, we are We are, we are, we are The time has come to bring you down Take the power back and show you how I hear the sound of a plane passing by Someone have the same thoughts as I But as I get to the end of mine You deny and think everything is fine We are, we are, we are We are the truth that hurts the most 'cause We are, we are, we are It hurts when your denial's exposed It hurts when your denial's exposed Why can't we see eye to eye? Think of all the things we leave behind I hear the sound of a car driving by You can go on for miles But you will run out, this is not your day Are you just gonna turn around and walk away? We are, we are, we are We are the truth that hurts the most 'cause We are, we are, we are It hurts when your denial's exposed It hurts when your denial's exposed But as I get to the end of mine You deny and think everything is fine We are, we are, we are We are the truth that hurts th...

  Song of the day;; → Julia Kent - Gardermoen -- Mitattiin tänään Runtin verensokeri (se on aika hankalaa, kun se pitää ottaa huulen sisäpuolelta ja se veritippa häviää niin helvetin nopiaa), se oli 10.2 eli tosi hyvä. Ei siis ihmekään, että se on ollu niin energinen ja aktiivinen. Se on varmaan itekin huomannu, että sillä on paljon parempi olo. Se elää vähän kuin elämänsä uutta kevättä ja ne sellaset ns. vanhuuden merkit (ei siis ulkonäölliset) mitä sillä on ollu on aikalailla tässä vaan hävinneet. Tulee hyvä mieli eikä huoleta niin paljoa.

  Song of the day;; → The Amazons - Black Magic Tell me baby, do you still feel the way you did? 'Cause I can't tell, baby No, I can't tell what's in your head But I, I don't know where to turn But if you wanna change your mind I'll take you and we'll run Black magic, come on You've led me on Now I believe Black magic, come on You know it's crazy, baby How I still see you in my sleep And I can't shift the way you're always on my mind, mind But I don't know where to turn But if you wanna change your mind I'll take you and we'll run Black magic, come on You've led me on Now I believe Black magic, come on Don't you love me? At all? When I've given all I've got to give Black magic, come on Do you still feel the way you did? Do you still feel the way you did?

  Song of the day;; → Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks I don't like walking around this old and empty house So hold my hand, I'll walk with you, my dear The stairs creak as you sleep, it's keeping me awake It's the house telling you to close your eyes And some days, I can't even dress myself It's killing me to see you this way 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back Well, tell her that I miss our little talks Soon it will be over and buried with our past We used to play outside when we were young And full of life and full of love Some days, I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore (Hey) Don't listen to a word I say (Hey) The screams all sound the same (Hey) Though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore ...

  Song of the day;; → Volumes - Feels Good It feels good It feels good I'm waking up this time Like I've never been tired Of making up my mind It feels good It feels good, oh, feels good, oh It feels good It feels good, oh, feels good, oh I lit my last one then I fell asleep in slime Work at my habits but the feel is so sublime Another drag in and my mind goes on a climb That's where you'll catch me cause it happens all the time Always on the move, always live proof I'm just trying to prove what you disapproved All this residue, don't know what to do with Facing down the truth, tell me where were you These are my hands that build me up But where were you Yeah, tell me where were you I'm waking up this time Like I've never been tired Of making up my mind It feels good It feels good, oh, feels good, oh It feels good It feels good, oh, feels good, oh I lit my last one then I fell asleep in slime Work at my habits but the feel is so sublime Ready to deploy, ...

  Song of the day;; → Dirty Three - Some Summers They Drop Like Flys

  Song of the day;; → RedFaces - Take It or Leave It Stop looking for something I'll find on my own I'm hurt That it's all in my head when you said it's a mess You don't know Don't sell me your life in the palm of your hand Can't afford it Put the words in my mouth and i'll spit them right out Over you So you can take it or leave it But I won't let you slip right through 'Cause I know nothing is perfect And certainly not me or you Well, I just wanna be young, and well We just wanna be young, you said But nothing is perfect And certainly not me or you If you stop for a second and turn on the light You will see All the days that we spent caught up in arguments Waste of time So you can take it or leave it But I won't let you slip right through 'Cause I know nothing is perfect And certainly not me or you Well, I just wanna be young and well We just wanna be young, you said But nothing is perfect And certainly not me or you So you can take it ...

  Song of the day;; → Nox Arcana - Reflections of Long Ago -- Käytiin tänään porukoitten kanssa Harjamäen sairaalamuseossa. Se oli tosi mielenkiintoinen, vaikka yleinen ilmapiiri siinä paikassa oli jotenkin tosi ahistava. Runtti piti myös kevyesti pestä illalla, kun se löysi jonkun mielestään ihanan piehtarointipaikan ja haisi helvetin pahalle.

  Song of the day;; → ERRA - Skyline Cityscape skeletons taking shape and growing skin Layer and layer is peeled away Exhausted from the repetition of always needing to rebuild Worn down faces in colorful barren places City lights and skylines Guiding home our wandering minds Tucking us into tortoise shells Suppressing the outside sounds of relentless consciousness Where is contemplative terrain That sleeps with the setting sun? This nocturnal apathy binging on shadow and smoke It's endlessly coming undone When the ground falls out, who will take my hand? When things fall apart who will take my hand? I'd never thought that I could withstand Falling short when I'm a broken man You never knew how much I meant it in love Every night I'm beside you weeks away when you're sleeping alone Did you ever know how much I meant it? Millions of tiny pieces looking in on themselves Reflected in the water, unaware of each other Every piece could find its place back in the puzzle W...

  Song of the day;; → Gabriel Parker - Intervention

  Song of the day;; → Recorders - Lost at Sea Once again, lost in the country, going back to the black birch trees It's much more soothing on this side Some days I forget why I hide, but I know I'm always restless to the bone Asking myself what no one knows This feeling's coming back to life with ocean heads and spinning palms And I know that you know Why I go, where I go I'll take you to the moon Far away from our wound, forgotten way too soon Sometimes we'll be gone and lost at sea For all the things you wanna know And all the ones you want to show Sometimes we'll be gone and lost at sea For all the things you wanna know And all the ones you want to Show me where the ancient oaks numb their hearts and soothe their souls They tell me I should join to fit in I don't know how to feel about it; now Floating down the owl river once again to win you over Let's just bathe and close our eyes, and let the falling stars decide And I know that you know Why I go, ...

  Song of the day;; → Timber Timbre - Lay Down in the Tall Grass Lay down in the tall grass In a flat-bottomed boat We lay down and wait for you With nothing but a piece of rope Dreaming every night of you Shaking at the sight I'll be dreaming every night of you I'll be shaking at the sight of you Will you beg for forgiveness? Will you pray to be saved? The way you choke your children When they spit in your face Dreaming every night of you Shaking at the sight I'll be dreaming every night of you I'll be shaking at the sight I dreamt you found me out in a field You tripped over my site And you dug me out of a shallow grave With your Swiss Army knife And only you could revive me So badly decomposed I was bone-white, dry and scaly But you still took me home Dreaming every night of you Shaking at the sight of you I'll be dreaming every night of you And how could you be so serene? Motivation unclear In a late basement séance That brought us to tears Dreaming every night ...

  Song of the day;; → In Flames - Like Sand I believe that the whole wide world is against me I, I, I believe that the whole wide world is afraid of me How did I end up here? Half a life and still full of fears If I'm honest, I think you'll see I'm scared to share what's calling for me You say, make the most of your time How does it work when it's not on your side? What can't kill you makes you stronger So I heard, but I'm going under I will try I will try I want the whole world, the whole world, the whole world in my hands But it's just slipping through like sand I want the whole world I try hard to be like you You're my queen, but I break in two I think I can overcome All the mistakes that I've done You say, make the most of your time How does it work when it's not on your side? What can't kill you makes you stronger So you say, but I'm going under I will try I will try I want the whole world, the whole world, the whole world in my ...

  Song of the day;; → Max Richter, Daniel Hope, Konzerthaus Kammerorchester Berlin & Andre de Ridder - Winter 3 - 2012 -- Lepikällä ollaan. Jotenkin tuo matka ei tuntunu niin pitkältä (vaikka jaloissa ja perseessä kyllä tuntuu, ovat jokseenkin helvetin puutuneet).

  Song of the day;; → The Secret Society - Las Pistas Falsas Conducen al Desamor Interpretamos todas las señales De forma errónea y casi despiadada Y acordamos que era amor lo nuestro Cuando aquello de amor no tenía nada Nos la jugamos con nuevos dolores Y malgastamos nuestras madrugadas Arrinconados en sitios mugrientos Con gente oscura, borracha y drogada Cogimos motos en calles desiertas Con el primer sol de la mañana Nos persiguieron policías secretas Si no existían se los inventaba Y por ella me convertí en esto En alguien que no decía que no a nada Justifiqué los medios con los fines Y acabé como la gente que odiaba A su lado siempre tuve miedo Aunque vi cosas que no imaginaba: Descubrí el poder de la belleza Y su cuerpo se convirtió en mi entrada A un laberinto de gestos ambiguos A un nuevo concepto de distancia Y aprendí que la gente sencilla Era gente que no le interesaba Y pasamos mañanas enteras Mirando el techo tumbados en camas Intentando reconstruir la noche Mitad con...

  Song of the day;; → Jon Hopkins - The Field -- Käytiin tänään pyörähtämässä Kittilän markkinoilla. Ei viivytty mitenkään älyttömän kauan ko alkoi satamaan. Sunnuntaina sitten suunnataan takas Lepikälle.

  Song of the day;; → Dark Tranquillity - Atoma I will not play along With things I find unfair I will not mount defenses Against unjust attacks This land was never given We built this on our own It's sanity dependent Whether we rise or fall Whether we rise or we fall One for the night, one for the uncontrolled Hold your feet to the ground To the end of our time for the rest of our lives Hold your head up high To the end of our time for the rest of our lives Secretly I hope That nothing ever comes of this And you are not alone in wanting to come back To a place where it won't matter just what side you're on It's where our lives are branded What's underneath will overcome What's underneath will overcome One for the night, one for the uncontrolled Hold your feet to the ground To the end of our time for the rest of our lives Hold your head up high To the end of our time for the rest of our lives Now it's time to stand up tall One for the night, one for the unco...

 Kello on tällä punaisella minuutilla 00:23. On torstai, 4. heinäkuuta vuonna 2024. Mulla on päivää alle viikon päästä synttärit. Täytän 26, mikä tuntuu ihan helvetin laittomalta. Ei musta tunnu yhtään sen viisaammalta tai aikuisemmalta, kuin sillon, kun täytin vaikkapa 21. Omalla tavallaan tuntuu, että aika kuluu ja vanhenen kyllä fyysisesti, mutta en henkisesti. Tiedostan toki sen, että olenhan mä itse asiassa kasvanut henkisesti hyvin paljon tässä vuosien aikana, mutta ehkä se, että mun perusluonne kaiken tän masennuksen, ahdistuksen ja syömishäiriön alla on kuitenkin jollain tavalla pysyny samanlaisena. Istun tällä hetkellä ruokapöydän ääressä meidän mökissä Ylläsjärvellä. Ollaan tänä vuonna meidän perinteisellä Lapin reissulla vähän aikasemmassa vaiheessa kuin yleensä. Tultiin tänään (tai no, eilen jos ihan tarkkoja ollaan) Sallasta tänne, matkalla pysähdyttiin Sodankylässä. Tutut maisemat rauhottaa mieltä. Kuten mä tuossa jo jokunen päivä sitten sanoin, mä olen aika varma sii...

  Song of the day;; → John Joubert, Birmingham Conservatoire Chamber Choir, Domonkos Csabay & Paul Spicer - Autumn Rain, Op.105 -- Ylläsjärvellä ollaan! Mulla on viikon päästä synttärit. Mitä helvettiä.

  Song of the day;; → Tehosekoitin - Valonkantaja Yön huveissa Tylsää ja kaunista Laiskana soi musiikki Katso mua nyt Suutele mua Valehtele kauniisti Hei valonkantaja Viaton et ole sinäkään Hei rakkauden antaja Ei oo mitään menetettävää Kaupunki on autiomaa Yksinäisen kulkea Vain tämän yön Lohdutan sua Mustelmille sut rakastan Hei valonkantaja Viaton et ole sinäkään Hei rakkauden antaja Ei oo mitään menetettävää Hei valonkantaja Viaton et ole sinäkään Hei rakkauden antaja Ei oo mitään menetettävää Hei Hei -- Käytiin tänään Sallan sota- ja jälleenrakennusajan museossa. Oli tosi mielenkiintoinen visiitti. Huomenna lähetään sitten Ylläkselle.

  Song of the day;; → Shirley Bassey - Send in the Clowns Isn't it rich? Aren't we a pair? Me here at last on the ground You in mid-air Send in the clowns Isn't it bliss? Don't you approve? One who keeps tearing around? One who can't move? Where are the clowns? Send in the clowns Just when I stopped Opening doors Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours Making my entrance again with my usual flair Sure of my lines No one is there Don't you love farce? My fault, I fear I thought that you'd want what I want Sorry, my dear But where are the clowns? Quick, send in the clowns Don't bother, they're here Isn't it rich? Isn't it queer? Losing my timing this late In my career And where are the clowns There ought to be clowns Well, maybe next year -- Hyvää heinäkuuta kaikille!