LOVE AND LOSS.

  Song of the day;; → The Walters - Life Momma said that the growing pains won't end It's the little bitty waves That'll keep the tide at bay Time flies through imaginary lines That hazy winter day Moving only in the days Life moves slowly Life moves slowly Life moves so slow It makes me wonder where it goes I stay dreaming of the place nobody knows Life moves slowly Life moves slowly You should have known better, better You should have known better, better We could have been better, better We could have been better, better -- Tänään oli ryhmä. Se meni ihan jees. Olin reipas ja tiskasin melkein kaikki astiat (tai no, tiskasin kaikki ruokailuvälineet eli yhtäkään astiaa en tiskannu), jotka viikkoja on tuolla keittiössä asustelleet. Vielä roskat pitäis viedä ja sen enempää en kehtaa siivoilla, vaikka terapeutti tuleekin huomenna käymään. Ajattelen, että on ehkä parempi näyttää rehellinen kuva siitä, miltä täällä näyttää.

  Song of the day;; → Harakiri for the Sky - Manifesto I took out my pen and pad And set to write my manifesto It was a one line poem, said Don't let nothing ever get you low There's a hole open to heaven And I looked straight through We were love-drunk Giving like we was living on the bayou Who made these fucking rules And said that I was born to live by? Give 'em hell 'til I die Don't bury me in no suit and tie 'Cause I don't wanna work For another man's money Yes, sir, no, sir Give it to me, honey I had a revelation I was told a lie Live to consume Work to buy and then die Oh, but truth enters the mind One little word at a time And you can't shake the smell Of the cat on the line Who made these fucking rules And said that I was born to live by? Give 'em hell 'til I die Don't bury me in no suit and tie 'Cause I don't wanna work For another man's money Yes, sir, no, sir Give it to me, honey Who made these fucking rules And sa...

  Song of the day;; → Jóhann Jóhannsson - Theme -- Tiiättekö, mikä mua tällä hetkellä eniten vituttaa masennuksessa? Alotekyvyttömyys. Ihan arkiset, normaalit asiat, joiden pitäis kaiken järjen mukaan sujua sulavasti, on niin helvetin vaikeita.

  Song of the day;; → Young Lyre - Night Swimming Out climbing trees Oh, you skinned your knees And then turned to me White as a sheet And these highs You can't stop the bleeding You might try, its just not so easy Filaments in lights flicker Way down beneath us Telling us it's fine We should both keep breathing, oh I don't want to be alone I don't want to stay out here on my own Even the kids, they know The dangers of staying outside in the cold Will these flames return to us? On this blackened earth and dust Bright colored streaks Rise from the deep On this night, the hills hear us speaking It's so quiet, the ocean receives me Jump from the bed to the water beneath us Telling you this time that they won't leave us, no I don't want to be alone I don't want to stay out here on my own Even the kids, they know The dangers of staying outside in the cold Outside in the cold Outside in the cold Outside in the cold I don't want to be alone I don't want...

  Song of the day;; → Gåte - Ulveham Eg var meg så ven og fager ei møy Med stimoder vond, mi moder ho døy Ho skapte meg om til eit svær og ei nål (Under lie) Og sende meg av ti kongens gård (Mæ soli skin ho så vie) Og vreida mi stimoder kjende mest Når alle dei gillaste lika meg best Ho gav meg ein ham som ulve grå Ho svor meg einsam i skogjen gå Og aldri blir eg heil og god Før eg fekk drukkje min broders blod Så reiv eg ut hеnnes vistri sie Så hennеs blod de sprang så vie Så reiv eg ut hennes hjarterot Så eg fekk drukkji min broders blod -- Norja jäi muistaakseni vuonna 2024 tällä ihanalla biisillä finaalin jumbosijalle. Ihmiset on kyllä outoja välillä. Käytiin eilen ystävän kanssa pyörimässä Ideaparkissa, ostin New Yorkerista karvareuhkalaukun, jota olin jo jonkin aikaa metsästänyt. Tänään sitten pelailin, pesin pyykkiä, kuuntelin klassista musiikkia ja juttelin porukoitten kanssa. Runtti hassutteli ja söi nakkeja (omia koirannakkejaan, ei ihmisten).

  Song of the day;; → Imagine Dragons - Not Today There she goes in front of me Take my life and set me free again We'll make a memory out of it Holy road is at my back Don't look on, take me back again We'll make a memory out of it We finally fall apart And we break each other's hearts If we wanna live young, love We better start today It's gotta get easier, oh, easier somehow 'Cause I'm falling, I'm falling Oh, easier and easier somehow Oh, I'm calling, I'm calling And it isn't over unless it is over I don't wanna wait for that It's gotta get easier and easier somehow But not today, not today There she goes in front of me Take my life, set me free again We'll make a memory out of it Holy road was at my back Don't look on, take me back again We'll make a memory out of it We finally fall apart And we break each other's hearts If we wanna live young, love We better start today It's gotta get easier, oh, easier someh...

  Song of the day;; → Escape the Fate & Atreyu - Around the Sun I get up, I come down I give up, I go all out It's a process but it's progress (But it's progress) It's a curse but I'm blessed It's a gift so I guess It's a process but it's progress (But it's progress) Another year has passed Whether it was good or bad Don't be scared by the starting gun Here's to another time around the sun I refuse to accept To not live 'til I'm dead It's a process but it's progress (But it's progress) Another year has passed Whether it was good or bad Don't be scared by the starting gun Here's to another time around the sun Another year has passed Whether it was good or bad Don't be scared by the starting gun Here's to another time around the sun Another year has passed Whether it was good or bad Don't be scared by the starting gun Here's to another time around the sun -- Tänään oli fysioterapia. Käytiin ulkoil...

  Song of the day;; → Jóhann Jóhannsson - The Sun's Gone Dim and the Sky's Turned Black The sun's gone dim And the sky's turned black 'Cause I loved her And she didn't love back The sun's gone dim And the sky's turned black 'Cause I loved her And she didn't love back The sun's gone dim And the sky's turned black 'Cause I loved her And she didn't love back The sun's gone dim And the sky's turned black 'Cause I loved her And she didn't love back The sun's gone dim And the sky's turned black 'Cause I loved her And she didn't love back

  Song of the day;; → WALK THE MOON - Different Colors Coming up slowly, oh, sun over the hill Daylight still a long time coming But I know it will Been under their spell, oh, but we're coming awake So we'll be rude, we'll be loud As long as it takes This is why, this is why, we crank the dial to the right This is why we're biting the bullet We know the kids are right Different colors We carry each other Just different colors This is why we're biting the bullet We know the kids are right We keep cranking the music up Driving through our towns But they don't wanna hear They want us to turn it down So come on lovers, come on haters Tonight we raise the fire 'Cause when the people get to dancing They forget about taking sides This is why, this is why, we crank the dial to the right This is why we're biting the bullet We know the kids are right Different colors We carry each other Just different colors This is why we're biting the bullet We know the kids...

  Song of the day;; → Raiven - Veronika Skrila sem se v reko in odšla v tiho noč Z glasnimi koraki nemi klici na pomoč Zdaj ko sem le voda v valovih iščem mir Utopim se v sebi, se svetlobi prepustim Najdi me, rani me, brani me Ko me loviš, ko me zapustiš Dvigni me, pusti me, ljubi me Kdo te lovi, ko se me bojiš? Koga se bojiš, ko svoje želje zatajiš? Gledaš me v oči, podoba tebe v njih žari Ogledalo sem brez robov Le odsev tvojih sem strahov Najdi me, rani me, brani me Ko me loviš, ko me zapustiš Dvigni mе, pusti me, ljubi me Kdo te lovi, ko sе me bojiš? Jaz sem Ti si Veronika Tvojo resnico le ona ve Jaz sem Ti si Veronika Tvojo resnico le ona ve Jaz sem Ti si Veronika Tvojo resnico le ona ve -- Slovenia jäi harmillisesti sijalle 23. vuonna 2024 tällä biisillä. Mun mielestä tässä on tosi kiva tunnelma, vetää aina täysillä mukaansa. Ikävää, ettei Euroopalle kelvannut. Kävin tänään ystävän luona, katottiin Harry Potter ja liekehtivä pikari sekä juteltiin. Huomenna on sitten terapia j...

  Song of the day;; → Tom Grennan - Sober The way you stand there in your three striped shell toes and The way your hair dances, it's clear you want all eyes on you It's all eyes on you And though I know that I won't get no answers, I I just can't stop from indulging my lean eyes on you My fool eyes on you As you dance on your burning coals I feel the bullet holes Tell myself I've got nothing to lose Though your touch gives me vertigo, I'm like a domino Darling I keep falling back to you But if it's over, why do you stop me getting sober on your love? You pull me closer You say you miss the way I hold ya I feel you breathing on my shoulder Why do you stop me getting sober? You leave your sweet bitter taste under my tongue and You leave your smoke to seep deep into my lungs I know how you're taking hold My love is wasted, somehow you laced it And I'm on my knees There's no remedy As you dance on your burning coals I feel the bullet holes Tell myse...

  Song of the day;; → Escape The Fate & Travis Barker - Not My Problem I refuse to give you more attention I've already learned my lesson, you take everything You abuse whatever that you're given Know I have to keep my distance and stay far away You keep bringing your shit to me Handing me all your insanity Why would I help you with anything? The begging isn't working, baby It's really not my problem If you got issues, you can solve 'em It's really not my problem Won't let you drag me back to the bottom with you It's really not my problem, problem It's really not my problem, problem I'm not here to tell you how to fix things I'm not interested in saving the day, not again Save your tears I won't let it affect me Negativity is deadly, I can't take the chance You keep bringing your shit to me Handing me all your insanity Why would I help you with anything? The begging isn't working, baby It's really not my problem If you got...

  Song of the day;; → Ólafur Arnalds - Raein -- Vituttaa ja hävettää. En tiiä yrittääkö universumi auttaa mua vai vaan vittuilla mulle, mutta jouduin perumaan tän päivän lääkäriajan migreenin takia. Eihän siinä muuten mitään, mutta en siinä kipuillessani tajunnu perua sitä ennen kuin aivan viime tingassa, mikä on siis se, mikä hävettää. Yleensä perun kyllä ihan hyvissä ajoin, mutta jotenkin nyt en tajunnut. Sain onneksi huomiselle uuden ajan.

  Song of the day;; → Surfer Blood - Floating Vibes Forget the second coming I need you in the here and now Instead of dreamin' up a way to spread your name Across the world somehow When you told me you were leavin' I wasn't thirsty for revenge No, I wasn't disappointed much at all 'Cause you'll be back again If you're movin' out to the west Then you'd better learn how to surf The tide will break in on itself When there are no ghosts to exhume or unearth If you're gonna do it, then do it Otherwise, you just might lose your nerve I swear that ocean, it swallowed me fully And it might have to follow you home, oh When you wake up in the morning And you hear that awful applause Put it in your fucking napkin And watch it dissolve You could seal it in an envelope Tuck it away in your sleeve But you can't take it to the bank And you can't take it back -- Terapeutti laittoi viestiä tänään, että hän on sairastunut, eikä pääse mukaan huomiselle lää...

  Song of the day;; → Nebulossa - ZORRA (Zorra, zorra) (Zorra, zorra) (Zorra, zorra) Ya sé que soy solo una zorra Que mi pasado te devora Ya sé que soy la oveja negra La incomprendida, la de piedra Ya sé que no soy quien tú quieres (Lo sé) Entiendo que te desespere (Lo sé) Pero esta es mi naturaleza Cambiar por ti me da pereza Estoy en un buen momento Solo era cuestión de tiempo Voy a salir a la calle a gritar lo que siento A los cuatro vientos Si salgo sola, soy la zorra Si me divierto, la más zorra Si alargo y se me hace de día Soy más zorra todavía Cuando consigo lo que quiero (Zorra, zorra) Jamás es porque lo merezco (Zorra, zorra) Y aunque me esté comiendo el mundo No se valora ni un segundo Estoy en un buen momento Solo era cuestión de tiempo Voy a salir a la calle a gritar lo que siento A los cuatro vientos Estoy en un buen momento (Zorra, zorra) Reconstruida por dentro (Zorra, zorra) Y esa zorra que tanto temías se fue empoderando Y ahora es una zorra de postal (Zorra, zorr...

  Song of the day;; → Unique Salonga - Jules Jules, I think of you tonight But all I can do is close my eyes To fall asleep Jules, you're stuck in my head Dancin' with your innocence And that's so wonderful Jules, I'm in love Jules, I'm in love Jules, I just can't get enough My lonely heart is trembling It's calling your name Ooohhh-oh Jules, Jules Jules Jules, I want to know you more How can you the two of us Can talk about anything? Jules, I feel sorry for myself 'Cause I'm dreaming of touching your skin And staring at your eyes Jules, I'm in love Jules, I'm in love Jules, I just can't get enough My lonely heart is trembling It's calling your name Ooohhh-oh Jules, Jules Jules Jules, Jules Jules Jules, Jules Jules

  Song of the day;; → Escape the Fate - Lightning Strike Wait, you’ll see If I want it, then I get it I want it, then I get it Don't wait on me I've been waiting for this moment Come on, let's get it going Hey, don’t think, just sink your teeth Oh, wait, you’ll see If I want it, then I get it 'cause Baby, I'm a lightning strike Living like I'm never gonna die Taking the world by storm again Let me light up the sky Baby, I'm a lightning strike Coming down like fire in the night Taking the world by storm again Let me light up the sky Baby, I'm a lightning strike I want it all, you can bet, I'll find it 'Cause I work best in crowns and diamonds Hey, don’t think, just sink your teeth Oh, wait, you’ll see If I want it, then I get it 'cause Baby, I'm a lightning strike Living like I'm never gonna die Taking the world by storm again Let me light up the sky Baby, I'm a lightning strike Coming down like fire in the night Taking the world b...

  Song of the day;; → Ólafur Arnalds - Erla's Waltz -- Tänään oli ryhmä. Se meni ihan jees, vaikkakin mulla oli edelleen epämukava olo, enkä oikein keksinyt, mistä se vois johtua. Huomenna on sitten terapia ja tupla-aika. Eilen en postannut, kun väsytti, joten laitoin suoraan nukkumaan. Olin kyllä herätessä väsyneempi kun nukkumaan laittaessa, että ei tuommoinen koko yön nukkuminen oikein sovi mulle.

  Song of the day;; → The Notionaries - Excited Eyes Run and live fast as we can Throw your clothes & cares Behind you to the wind Just footprints where you've been Summer kids go show em how Faster wilder louder now Go raise some hell Cast stones & pick up shells Those city people missed the boat Hustle bustle noisy hopes I'm livin', breathin' free And all it's costing me Is sand under my moving feet Forever deep surrounding me Unsure for sure I'm sure And all I want is more I know, I know there's a million ways that we could go Who knows, who knows? I know, I know there's nothing that I know for surе Who knows, who knows? Unsure ocean separatеd You from where you anticipated You to be But we've made it here somehow Don't pay no mind to the where or how Keep moving on Keep on moving on (keep on moving on) I know, I know there's a million ways that we could go Who knows, who knows? I know, I know there's nothing that I know for su...

  Song of the day;; → 5MIINUST & Puuluup - (nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi Ey, ey, ey, ey, ey Me pole narkom— Ei oota, kes see Me pole narkomaanid pole midagi teind Kleidid meie seljas on prügikasti leid Politseikroonika ja suvilas on reid Ainus kott, mis laual, on roheline Lay's Me pole narkomaanid pole midagi teind Kleidid meie seljas on prügikasti leid Politseikroonika ja suvilas on reid Vormis mehed külas mul on väga okei (Uuu, yeah) Uuu, kuula nüüd seda Saab huugama ära Meid kuulda on täna A' see kott vii ära Ma ei tea narkootikume, limpsi tean ja siidrit Vahet ma ei suudaks teha vitamiinil spiidil Uuu, kuula nüüd seda Saab huugama ära Meid kuulda on täna A' see kott vii ära Pilvikud ja šampinjonid – kus on teie niidid? Käivitate minu keha nagu köögipliidi Pardikesed väikesed, kuid moonid on nii pikad Mõnuaineid väldime, las seda teevad rikkad Kohal varahommikul ja kirevad kui kikkad Ära viisid kommid mul need kurva näoga plikad Mõnuaineid väldim...

  Song of the day;; → Robert Grace - Not OK They say I'm not okay, I'm not okay Okay, I got it Is it getting harder to breathe When I'm mixing drinks with my anxiety? I'm oblivious People just talk over me Caught up in a lifestyle Everybody's so serious Keep doing the same I like getting high, yeah And going down in flames, oh Don't gimme no cape 'Cos I don't wanna fly No, I don't wanna fly Sorry, can you please repeat the question? I'm broke and I never pay attention Sometimes I wanna run But no matter where I run, I just run into everyone and They say I'm not okay, I'm not okay Okay, I got it Same story different day But every day I say I'm sorry Is it ever gonna go my way, way? Ever gonna go my way? Ah-ah They say I'm not okay But it's okay That's how I want it Monsters following me Hiding in the walls of my mind, I can't sleep Wanna be alone I'm my own worst enemy Keep 'em all close 'cos I need the comp...

  Song of the day;; → Asking Alexandria & Within Temptation - Faded Out I don't wanna wake up lately The days are getting longer It feels just like I'm going through the motions And I don't know what's wrong with me I wanna try, I wanna care I wanna feel alive like I used to I wanna be someone, do something But it feels a little like sleepwalking I'm faded out I keep trying to stand, but I'm falling down I'm stuck inside a loop, why can't I shake it off? Is it not enough to wanna get better? I'm faded out And it's not getting better Give me something real to hold onto 'Cause I don't know what's real anymore I'm walking through the haze tryin' to find you The person that I was before I gave it all, and I found a hole That I didn't know was hiding Thought I knew who I was, looks like I was wrong And I've been out lost sleepwalking I'm faded out I keep trying to stand, but I'm falling down I'm stuck inside...

  Song of the day;; → Òlafur Arnalds - Þú ert sólin -- Alkaa pikkuhiljaa jo vituttamaan, kun väsyttää koko ajan. Aina en osaa väsymyksestä sanoa, onko se fyysistä vai henkistä, mut nyt se on kyllä ollu aikalailla kokonaan fyysistä.

 Hetkinen, mitäs tämä on? Tekstipostaus, mun blogissa? Olin seikkailemassa interwebsin syövereissä aivan eri asian perässä (etsin mistä saisin omia vanhoja potilaskertomuksia luettavaksi -> muistin, että en muista milloin oon viimeksi käynyt silmänpohjakuvauksessa, mutta en löytänyt varattua aikaa, eli ei kai hätää tuon osalta -> lueskelin Omakannasta jotain vanhoja merkintöjä -> päädyin tänne blogiin lukemaan joitain vanhoja tekstejä), ja huomasin, etten mä ole tänne vääntänyt kunnon postausta yli vuoteen. Ja koska mä olen tämmöinen yögoblin, kello on nyt 4:43 ja totta munassa mulla iski inspiraatio tähän just nyt. Paras inspiraatio tulee aina yöllä, jonka takia vihaan sitä, että yhteiskunta toimii aamu-/päiväihmisten mukaan, koska enhän mä voi koskaan valjastaa todellista potentiaaliani, kun se näyttäytyy vain öisin. Viimeksi tosiaan kirjoittelin vuoden 2024 kesällä. Olenhan mä toki sen jälkeenkin kirjoitellut sellasia lyhyempiä kuulumisia noiden biisipostausten yhteytee...

  Song of the day;; → Marlin's Dreaming - I'll Be Round Oh, damn Cooking eggs in the morning sun Could I grab a table for two? No pepper on mine, please And it's far too soon Your beautiful golden hair The sight I'll always miss, oh 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place Cooking eggs for only one Could I grab a table for you? Well, its far too soon And your listening eyes Staring back at me Do you know what you're about to do? 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come Over to my place 'Cos I'll be round if you wanna come 'Cos...

  Song of the day;; → Dons - Hollow Don't look now Woah, you'll see me crying rivers, I might drown Don't know how Woah-oh, will I ever find my own way out? I don't wanna lose me so cruelly I'm driftin' in and out of who I am So help me understand It's killin' me slow Try to make me just another believer Everybody just pretending they're preachers, preachers It's killin' me slow Yeah, I'd rather let them dig my grave shallow Instead of sellin' out to something so hollow, hollow Not afraid Woah, to tell you all my sins I can't escape I won't change Woah, it's like a bad disease that I can't shake I don't wanna lose me so cruelly I'm driftin' in and out of who I am So help me understand It's killin' me slow Try to make me just another believer Everybody just pretending they're preachers, preachers It's killin' me slow Yeah, I'd rather let them dig my grave shallow Instead of sellin...