where I've been has faded

this city is just a patient

on life support and pain killers

let me out of here

No one ever cares, do they? No one loves, no one's there. They hear, but they don't listen. Or they listen, but they don't hear. It's what ever, isn't it, really? Everything... Everyone, they're no good. That's what everyone keeps saying. What are we supposed to believe anymore? Lies, lies, lies. This whole life is a fucking lie. No one loves properly, do they?

So what are you supposed to do, when your whole life falls apart before your very eyes, you can't believe what's happening, everything's supposed to be all right, isn't it? And when it's not... Really fucks you up. But no one can know, can they? What would they do? Call you mental, only care about their own crap. Better not care, it just hurts a lot more, doesn't it?

People say they understand. Now I wonder, do they really? Maybe they do. Someone does, sometimes. But usually... I don't really think they do. They say that so they don't have to deal with other people's problems. It's not your fucking problem, isn't it? I understand, they say, thinking, when are you done ranting over your own bollocks?

So when are we really done? Done with everything, people, life? Life is a complex, I reckon. It is a mystery, and I highly doubt it's ever going to be solved. Maybe some questions are better left without a decent answer, don't you think? But the truth hurts, now doesn't it? And lies... They hurt even more. But that's reality. Life. Really fucks you over, doesn't it?

But don't be afraid, darling. Just do as you're told, smile and hate yourself in the shadows of your mind. It's easier for everyone, isn't it now?

Shadows

Sunset, I close my eyes

I pretend everything's alright

Drowning in anger from all these lies

I can't pretend everything's alright

Please don't let me fall forever

Can you tell me it's over?

There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master

I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer

I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go

I need you with me as I enter the shadows

Caught in the darkness, I go blind

But can you help me find my way out?

Nobody hears me, I suffer the silence

Can you tell me it's over now?

There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master

I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer

I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go

I need you with me as I enter the shadows

I'm holding onto you, I'm holding onto you

There's a hate inside of me like some kind of master

I tried to save you, but I can't find the answer

I'm holding onto you, I'll never let go

I need you with me as I enter the shadows

oh darling, you are so very broken and no one cares to notice.

A for Andrew

I have an illness

and it's called myself

I am so desperate

I'm getting in over my head

I regret so many things I've done

The past is to remind be how broken I am

How broken I am

How naive I was

I've suffered the consequences

This world is not for me

I've suffered the consequences

I've failed you, I've failed everyone

I've put so many things above you

But you still are always there for me

I don't know who I am anymore

If I even knew who I was

How naive I was

How naive I was

My head starts pounding

My body begins to burn

I'm tired

I'm beat down

And my hope is dying

I've suffered the consequences

This world is not for me

I've suffered the consequences

I've failed you, I've failed everyone

I've put so many things above you

But still you are always there for me

I don't know who I am anymore

If I even knew who I was

I've put so many things above you

But you still are always there for me

I don't know who I am anymore

If I even knew who I was