Into a Dark Dawn.

  Song of the day;; → Everything Everything - Kemosabe Four walls and a cauldron of Kalashnikoving And our home is a trigger that I'm always pulling At the border, at the, at the border I'm at the border, at the, at the border The short spears and the weak eternal monologuing And our war is the crucible of all your longing At the border, at the, at the border I'm at the border, at the, at the border, hey I was there when the clamour got real And I was there when your brow smashed the wall It's like a riot with only two perps The more I'm here, I'm making it worse But does it feel like you're already dead? (Yes) And do you feel like your brain stopped delivering? Yeah, break my finger, shoot out my black eyes What does it matter if everyone dies? (Hey) Hey, Kemosabe, I'm alone I am, I am alone (Hey) Hey, Kemosabe, I'm alone I am, I am alone Hi-yo, Silver, away So fast hence, take an arrow from your quiver or we're Past tense, what's a trilobit

  Song of the day;; → Father John Misty - I'm Writing a Novel I ran down the road, pants down to my knees Screaming please come help me That Canadian shaman gave a little too much to me! And I'm writing a novel Because it's never been done before First house that I saw, I wrote house up on the door And told the people who lived there they had to get out 'Cause my reality is realer than yours And there's no time in the present And there's a black dog on the bed I went to the backyard to burn my only clothes And the dog ran out and said, you can't turn nothing Into nothingness with me no more Well, I'm no doctor, but that monkey might be right And if he is, I'll be walking him my whole life I rode to Malibu on a dune buggy with Neil He said, you're gonna have to drown me down on the beach If you ever want to write the real And I said, I'm sorry Young man, what was your name again? Now everywhere I go in West Hollywood Is filled with people pret

  Song of the day;; → Baroness - March to the Sea There was an anchor There was a silver-sweet refrain You tucked your fingers In between my troubled bones And what you did next was second to none You really let us down You tied yourself up and jumped in the sea Never to come home Valium You left me all alone Tell me when I will be whole again There was a whisper Once there were heralds and parades You sang your secrets Through the tolling of the tide The fugitive rooms, the amateur tombs The silence and the cries The quickening beat, your march to the sea Never to return Sweet morphine, you've taken all of me Let me know, when you will let me go Heroin Where did you take my friend? Tell me why Those ropes are hanging high Valium You left me all alone -- Sain hoidettua kaikki siivoushommelit tältä päivältä. Nyt väsyttää. Veikkaan, että tuon uuden lääkkeen sivuvaikutukset on alkaneet tällein ns. myöhässä, koska se annos on niin pieni (2,5mg). Ei oo onneksi muuta kuin tää infernaalin

  Song of the day;; → Niklas Paschburg - Fragmentation -- Huomenna on pyykkivuoro (hyi) ja sen jälkeen ajattelin piipahtaa Tokmannissa.

  Song of the day;; → Foals - Exits Now the sea eats the sky But they say it's a lie There's no birds left to fly We'll hide out Oh, the weather's against us Houses underground The flowers upside down In our dreams In the eye of the storm The land where you were born Try to make no sound We hide out 'Cause they watch us in sleep The language that we speak And the secrets that we keep In our dreams, in our dreams, in our dreams In our dreams, in our dreams, in our dreams I said I'm so sorry To have kept you waiting around I wish I could've come up I could've shouted out loud They got exits covered All the exits underground I wish I could figure it out But the world's upside down In a world upside down Oh, to dream this all off In the islands of the mind The places they can't find We'll hide out And the black sky came down And the cities underground The flowers upside down In our dreams Oh, to meet you again To pass you on the stairs To see you

  Song of the day;; → Wild Nothing - Partners in Motion I caught you in the dog house Drinking coffee with your new wife How is your new life swiping through headlines? How do you find the time? You two look very nice (very nice) Silver in your eyes The sinning that's committed Red and open wide Of life in the wild You're looking very nice You're looking very nice Now I'm obsessive, walking through keyholes Fixing picture prints, letting the soil drain I had a temper, but now I'm delicate I keep it to myself, I keep it to myself Silver in your eyes The sinning that's committed Red and open wide Of life in the wild Partners in motion, beautiful devotion Take over dream nights to find love Partners in motion, beautiful devotion To know you can, you don't have to go Partners in motion, beautiful devotion Take on my dream Partners in motion, beautiful devotion -- Ryhmätapaaminen meni oikiastaan ihan kivasti. Uskalsin puhua (se tosin voi johtua siitä Propralista

  Song of the day;; → Gojira - L'enfant sauvage So long I've been trying to match It doesn't work, I'm trying, I don't know The aberration of this world I tried to deal with It killed a part of me that was raging The pain is gone, the denial I ran away from institutions I owe myself life There's no way I will risk all this pressure and Anger flowing through me There is light in this world I fight for The reason you won't leave this cage, betray your child The desire that you once had to reveal yourself Forgot to create your own life Anger, lies, denial This righteous anger boiling inside of us Won't last forever, don't fear to let it out Branches have grown through The wolf is your master The sky is all over me I run on time -- Silmänpohjakuvaus meni hyvin. Onneks ei paistanu aurinko niin näin kuin näinkin tulla takas. Otin päikkärit, mutta en saanu itteäni tiskaamaan. No jaa, päivä se on huomennakin. Siitä puheen ollen, huomenna on sen kiusaamisvert

  Song of the day;; → The Arcadian Wild - Hers -- Tänään oli aika kylmä, mikä meinaa sitä, että mulla tulee olemaan taas oikein miellyttävä talvi, kun palelen 24/7. No, ei voi mitään. Talvi on mun lempivuodenaika, eikä se oo sen syytä, etten mä kestä enää kylmää yhtään. Tänään oli fysioterapia ja se meni kivasti. Jaksoin sen jälkeen tiskata puolet tiskeistä, loput sitten huomenna. Huomenna mulla onkin ihanasti silmänpohjakuvaus kello helvetin 7:45, eli voipi olla, ettei mun kannata mennä nukkumaan ollenkaan, kun meen normaalisti siinä 3-4 väliin tai 4 jälkeen, joten järkevämpi nukkua sitten pienet päikkärit jälkeenpäin. Laitoin tatuoijalle tänään viestiä, kun sain päätettyä, minkälaisen kuvan haluan. Kävin tänään kaupassa ja ainakin tohon meidän lähiässälle oli tullu jo joulusuklaat (on siis varmaan muuallekin) ja muut tsögediböngit. Onhan ne aika aikasessa joo, mutta... kamoon, tiedätte, että mä rakastan joulua. Mua ei haittaa yhtään. En tiiä vielä, millasen joulukalenterin hommaan, m

 Song of the day;; → The Pigeon Detectives - Wolves Sweet lover, don't hunger for the pain Hunger for the pain No other can pull this shit again Pull this shit again I'm confused, tell me what to say Tell me what to say Feel so used every single day Every single day I can feel the wolves are closing in And there's no more places to hide I can feel the end as it begins Is it over? Sweet lover, it's happening again Happening again Take cover from all the things the same All the things the same I'll taste birth before I see you cry Before I see you cry It tastes too good to leave it at the bar Leave it at the bar I can feel the wolves are closing in And there's no more places to hide I can feel the end as it begins Is it over? I can feel the wolves are closing in And there's no more places to hide I can feel the end as it begins Is it over? I can feel the wolves are closing in And there's no more places to hide I can feel the end as it begins Is it over? I

  Song of the day;; → Violet Cold - Shazam the Void -- Onneks huomenna on sunnuntai koska se tarkottaa sitä, että on kynsienlakkauspäivä (vois ne muutenkin lakata mutta en mä kyllä oikein voi). Mulla on tän viikkoa ollu valkosta lakkaa ja pakko sanoa että en oo tykänny yhtään. Kyllä mulla menee vaaleammatkin sävyt ihan jees ja sellaset pastelliset on tosi söpöjä, mut eniten tykkään tummista sävyistä. Huomenna on myös pakko tiskata (rip) ja maanantaina pitää ottaa itteä reilulla niskaperseotteella kiinni ja soittaa diabeteshoitajalle aika varatakseni kun menin sairaanhoitajalle lupaamaan. Juteltiin nimittäin sillon siellä kartotuskäynnillä vähän siitä, että en oo ehkä ihan uskaltanut suoraan sanoa diabeteshoitajalle, että mikä mun tilanne tän syömishäiriön suhteen on, ja sairaanhoitaja sanoi, että jos saan sen hoitajan nimen selville, niin se voi lähettää sille etukäteen sähköpostia ja selventää asiaa vähän. Oon kyllä tosi iloinen ja tyytyväinen, että oon onnistunut luomaan mun kumpaaki

  Song of the day;; → Devin Townsend Project - Kingdom I I wonder why I wonder why I've come undone I've come undone Stay with me, Lord Play with me O.K., I know I missed it The point I mean, I missed it So (And could I know?) And if I could (Would change it all) Good God, I would Stay with me, Lord Play with me Now I've seen the way I'm headed Down and down, the youth descended Have it here and without worry Baby please, there is no worry I'm fine Stay with me, Lord Play with me Stay with me, Lord Play with me Ego, it's only a song Fire it up I know I know I know I know I know I know (We are the word) I know (We are the hope) I know (We are forever ?) Now I see the way I'm headed Down and down, the truth descend Hell is here, but it hath no fury Woman still, there is no worry I'm fine Stay with me, Lord Play with me Stay with me, Lord Play with me Stay with me, Lord Play with me Stay with me, Lord Play with me -- Se käynti meni ihan hyvin. Toki mua jänn

  Song of the day;; → Aphex Twin - aisatsana [102] -- Huomenna on se SYLI:n kartoituskäynti. Onneks sairaanhoitaja tulee mukaan. Ahdistaa, koska syömishäiriöstä ja siihen liittyvistä jutuista on mulle edelleen tosi hankalaa. Sairaanhoitaja vakuutteli kuitenkin mulle, ettei tää käynti velvoita mua sitoutumaan mihinkään ja eihän me ensinnäkään ees tiedetä, onko niillä mitään mulle tarjota (mulla on kuitenkin ihan piirun verran mutkikkaampi tilanne, kun tää diabetes kietoutuu tähän syömishäiriöön niin voimakkaasti). Mutta katotaan mitä siitä tulee. Mietin myös tässä, että jos ens kuulle varailisin uutta tatuointiaikaa, kun porukat lupasi mulle synttärilahjana sellaisen kustantaa. Mietin, jos ottaisin jotain uutta peittämään mun kaksi vanhinta tatuointia - ei siksi, että katuisin niitä, vaan siksi, ettei ne yksinkertasesti enää sovi tähän ns. teemaan, joka mun tatuoinneilla on. Mua muuten jotenkin huvitti se, että edellisen lääkärikäynnin jälkeen lääkäri oli Omakantaan kirjottanu että '

  Song of the day;; → White Lies - Don't Want To Feel it All You said your mind was changing I wasn't listening up here in my daydream My love is unchanging I've just got problems that need rearranging I don't want to feel it all, but know what fuels it No, I don't want to feel it all, but don't wanna lose it I don't want to feel it all, but don't wanna lose it I don't want to feel it all, but don't wanna lose it Winter is taking ages This talking never helped the pain, when the wave hits Darling, I can't explain it Sometimes this city hits so low when it's raining I don't want to feel it all, but know what fuels it No, I don't want to feel it all, but don't wanna lose it I don't want to feel it all, but don't wanna lose it I don't want to feel it all, but don't wanna lose it No, I'm not gonna break your heart No, I'm not gonna break your heart No, I'm not gonna break your heart, but I might use it

  Song of the day;; → Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Love Burns Never thought I'd see her go away, she learned I loved her today Never thought I'd see her cry, and I learned how to love her today Never thought I'd rather die than try to keep her by my side Now she's gone, love burns inside me Now she's gone, love burns inside me Now she's gone, love burns inside me Nothing else can hurt us now, no loss our love's been hung on a cross Nothing seems to make a sound and now it's all so clear somehow Nothing really matters now, we're gone and on our way Now she's gone, love burns inside me Now she's gone, love burns inside me Now she's gone, love burns inside me She cuts my skin and bruise my lips, she's everything to me She tears my clothes and burns my eyes, she's all I wanna see She brings the cold and scars my soul, she's heaven sent to me Now she’s gone, love burns inside me Now she’s gone, love burns inside me Now she’s gone,

  Song of the day;; → Killswitch Engage - Always In these moments of loss and torment When the vast skies don't seem to call to you When the weight of this world bears down And the stars have fallen like tears I am with you always From the darkness of night until the morning I am with you always From life until death takes me Monuments built in remembrance of me But monuments fade, erode and decay The memories are all that remain (All that remain) As far as east is from the west, remember I am with you always From the darkness of night until the morning I am with you always From life until death takes me When hope seems lost down and lowly I am here with you always I am with you always From the darkness of night I am with you always From the darkness of night until the morning I am with you always From life until death takes me I am with you always From life until death takes me -- Huomenna on sairaanhoitajan aika ja sen jälkeen onkin taas hyvä piipahtaa Lidlissä ostamassa vähän ka

  Song of the day;; → Alex Kozobolis - I Promise -- Jäi eilen postaamatta, kun väsytti niin saatanasti (meikäläinen se vaan ei osaa nukkua kunnolla, sillon kun täällä on muita). Oli kiva viikonloppu. Kiva oli viettää aikaa porukoitten ja etenkin Runtin kanssa. Se on täällä aina jotenkin tosi energisellä ja vilkkaalla päällä, mikä helpottaa mun huolta ja lämmittää sydäntä. Huomenna on fysioterapia (onneks vasta kello 13).

  Song of the day;; → Written Years - Superficial Feeling Turn the lights down now, I am all worked up Try to shake it out, play the part And there’s a kind, kind of quiet now There’s a kind, kind of quiet now ‘Til we are cut in thirds on a restaurant stage Where the ribbon girls spin and I Am caving down, a kind of quiet now There’s a kind, kind of I am here, wide awake, help me into the car I don’t want you to dance all alone in the dark Even if it is all just a sick superficial feeling (Superficial feeling, feeling) I am lit, half asleep, throwing darts at the mirror I am shaking right now like I shouldn’t be here Even if it appears as a sick superficial feeling (Superficial feeling, feeling) I’ll wait a breath then take something to calm down Bury my mistakes, spill it all And there’s a kind, kind of quiet now There’s a kind, kind of quiet now So kiss me darling, I’ve been asleep too long I can stand up right, clear my head And it’s all a kind of quiet now There’s a kind, kind of I

  Song of the day;; → Turnover - Cutting My Fingers Off I found a picture that we took when we brought in the new year It's hard to see, but I remember You wore a cocktail dress, ignored the goosebumps on your neck The namesake of your outfit to keep you warm You always said that every thought I had was geometric I couldn't think outside my own lines I hope you're alright love, I'm sorry that I wasted your time Never had the intention to make you go Ooh oh-oh oh To make you go To make you go, to make you go I never wanted to make you go You might be a stranger now And I just wanted to let you know That I meant what I said And every dream I've ever had has been of myself And every dream I've ever had's been of a Better view with a ten-month summer Losing you is like cutting my fingers off And even with that summer Without you, I'd rather cut my fingers off -- Huomenna Runtti (ja porukat) tulee!!!

  Song of the day;; → TesseracT - Of Mind - Nocturne Climb You're dehydrated Fly Your wings are jaded Cry You're enervated Die For what you believe in Try You've nearly made it Why? You're the plague within my dreams Soaring through an atmosphere of an adequate lack of strength And we're responsible The truth is that it will end here Denial's an impairment of your fear Can we save us from ourselves? Can we save us from ourselves? (This is the saviour and its form) You can break through Wake me up Tell me it's gone False hope sells lies I won't buy We are still one Let's attempt escape Melancholia will feed We'll admit defeat The Vox Populi will cease The air is thickening We are drifting You're the plague within my dreams Soaring through an atmosphere of an adequate lack of strength And we're responsible (And we're responsible) The truth is that it will end here Denial's an impairment of your fear Can we save us from ourselves? Ca

  Song of the day;; → Akira Kosemura - Inside River #1 -- Tän päivän säätä vois taas kuvailla tällä iki-ihanalla lausahduksella: it fucken wimdy. Kyllä siinä meinaa kovassa puuskassa meikäläinen koko 151 cm:n ja 40 kg:n komeudessa lähtä ojan pohjalle niin että hujahtaa. Toisaalta onneks tuuli, koska oli tosi lämmin ja oisin muuten ollu lenkin jälkeen (ja aikana tbh) ihan helvetin hiessä.

  Song of the day;; → Bend Sinister - Heard It All Before When the lights go out Do you ever wanna scream and shout? You’re scratching at the walls You’re pacing down the halls It’s a hunger that never ends It’s an urge you can’t comprehend Why does it feel so good? The fact that no one else can hear you When you say Oh my god You’ve come knocking at my door But I’ve heard it all before Yes, I’ve heard it all before All my life You’ve been knocking at my door But I’ve tried it all before You can’t ever seem to win the fight You’re rolling like a hurricane through the night I told you, but you wouldn’t listen anyway You’re golden like the city or get out of the way You had your fill, but you keep asking for more It’s only ever over when you hit the floor I told you, but you wouldn’t listen anyway I told you, but you wouldn’t listen anyway I told you, but you wouldn’t listen Then you say Oh my god You’ve come knocking at my door But I’ve heard it all before Yes, I’ve heard it all before

  Song of the day;; → Yuck - Rebirth Hold me down, in the sunlight To sacrifice myself I don't want your love, I want you Slide me down, deep like the ocean To contemplate myself I don’t want your love I want you hard, hard Happens all the time Dropped in a maze Of hopeless abandon To understand myself I don’t want your pain I want you Sour sound echoes around me And breaks me down inside I don’t want your pain I want you hard, hard Happens all the time Hard, hard Happens all the time Go down, I don't wanna go down too Go down, I don't wanna go down Go down, I don't wanna go down too Go down, I don't wanna go down Go down, I don't wanna go down too Go down, I don't wanna go down Go down, I don't wanna go down too Go down, I don't wanna go down -- Huomenna on fysioterapia, onneks vasta kello 13 joten voin ihan rauhassa nukkua 10 asti. Tänään oli ihan älyttömän lämmin; en muista, millon olisin viimeks käyny lenkillä shortsit jalassa syyskuussa. Tuntu i

  Song of the day;; → Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side of Heaven I spoke to God today And she said that she's ashamed What have I become? What have I done? I spoke to the devil today And he swears he's not to blame And I understood 'Cause I feel the same Arms wide open I stand alone I'm no hero And I'm not made of stone Right or wrong I can hardly tell I'm on the wrong side of Heaven And the righteous side of Hell The wrong side of Heaven And the righteous side The righteous side of Hell I heard from God today And she sounded just like me What have I done? And who have I become? I saw the devil today And he looked a lot like me I looked away I turned away Arms wide open I stand alone I'm no hero And I'm not made of stone Right or wrong I can hardly tell I'm on the wrong side of Heaven And the righteous side of Hell The wrong side of Heaven And the righteous side The righteous side of Hell I'm not defending Downward descending Falling further

  Song of the day;; → Agnes Obel - Chord Left -- Tänään oli fysioterapia. Käytiin vähän joen rannalla käppäilemässä ja meitä vastaan tuli nainen parin rescue-koiran kanssa, joista toista sain vähän silitellä. Se oli bulgarialaiselta kaatopaikalta pelastettu ja tosi söpö. Koirat tuntuu tykkäävän musta usein, johtuu varmaan siitä, että mun vaatteista haisee Runtti. Kävin terapian jälkeen hakemassa henkkarit ja sitten piipahdin kirjastossa. Lainasin ihan älyttömän mielenkiintosen (alotin sitä lukemaan tossa äsken, mut voi olla että se tulee menemään vähän hitaammin, kun tykkään aina ns. tietokirjoja lukee hitaammin, että jotain jäis päähän) avaruudesta kertovan kirjan. Avaruus kiinnostaa mua tosi paljon, vaikken ihan kaikkia siitä ymmärräkään. Jostain syystä musta on koko päivän tuntunu ihan maanantailta.

  Song of the day;; → We Are Scientists - Not Another Word Signal to noise You're breaking the ratio It's hard to make out anything at all We've got a choice To say that we'll fake it or Agree to hang it up when we decide That we're much better off just keeping quiet I know that you think you're testing me But I've already learned my lesson here So baby not another word There's no need to make a mess of this But you only keep mixing messages So baby not another word Something between us, barely a filament Was this connection ever real at all? If what you mean is purely subliminal And I'm just guessing every single time Then I suspect we need to draw a line here I know that you think you're testing me But I've already learned my lesson here So baby not another word There's no need to make a mess of this But you only keep mixing messages So baby not another word I know that you think you're testing me But I've already learned my les

  Song of the day;; → Low - Lullaby Cross over and turn Feel the spot, don't let it burn We all want, we all yearn Be soft, don't be stern Lullaby Was not supposed to make you cry I sang the words I meant I sang -- Huomenna on sairaanhoitajan aika, jonka jälkeen taidan piipahtaa paluumatkalla Lidlissä hakemassa muutaman halvan energiajuoman jemmaan. Sitten pitäis käydä Tokmannissa. 

  Song of the day;; → Killswitch Engage - In Due Time Pacing aimlessly, with my mind at unrest Unsure of what may come What have I done to bring this down on me? Helpless to make this undone All in due time See the world through different eyes All in due time Shadows will give way to light How much more can I give of myself? As these walls, close in on me As I slip down into this despair (To this despair) There is nothing to attain What victory? (What victory?) When my soul is weak (Is weak) Where does my help come from? All in due time See the world through different eyes I see the world through different eyes All in due time Shadows will give way, give way to light All that we suffer through Leads to determination The trials we all go through Gives us the strength to carry on Something within us burns Desire feeds the will to live A reason to believe I will see redemption Yeah All in due time See the world through different eyes I see the world through different eyes All in due time

  Song of the day;; → Danny Elfman - Ice Dance -- Nyt on hoidettu kuntoon verkkopankkitunnukset, korttireklamaatio ja rikosilmotus tehty ja henkilökorttikin tilattu. Eli kaiken pitäis nyt palata normaaliin uomiinsa. Helvetin stressaavaa kyllä tämmönen säätäminen, pakko myöntää. En jaksanu käydä kirjastossa, kun piti seikkailla passikuvassa ja poliisilaitoksella ja pankissa. Huomenna ja keskiviikkona ei onneks tarvi mennä mihinkään (paitsi lenkille mikäli sää sallii), joten saa hengähtää vähän.

  Song of the day;; → Nervous Curtains - Mass Amnesia Rehabilitated Prepped for the public relations An easy sell an empty shell Return from eternal damnation Pelted by the blowback The definition of insanity A lie that dropped 500,000 But at least we had some decency Fed through a feedback loop And cleansed by our amnesia Zombie corpse of a neocon Nostalgia our anesthesia Grabbing hands Doomsday arms A trail of broken mirrors Some ills I won’t forgive But I forget how we got here Genocidal general rise from the tomb Apparition or aberration, the curse still looms A fresh hell a new foe unmasked To reveal echoes from our past This is who we are And have always been -- Fysioterapeutti laittoi viestiä, että hän lepäilee vielä huomisen, joten sain perjantaille uuden ajan. Mun pitää kuitenkin huomenna lähtiä liikenteeseen, kun pitää siellä pankissa pyörähtää. Ajattelin sen jälkeen käydä pitkästä aikaa kirjastossa. Ehkä sais uutta lukuintoa, kun lainais jotain uutta luettavaa. Mulla on yks