If it's dead, we'll kill it

 Song of the day;;

→ Clint Mansell - Together We Will Live Forever

Sinematic

Song of the day;;

→ Trio - Da Da Da (I Don't Love You You Don't Love Me Aha Aha Aha)

Aha aha aha

Aha

Aha

Aha

What you do and what you don't

What you will and what you won’t

What you can and what you can't

This is what you got to know:

Loved you though it didn't show

Ich lieb’ dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don’t love you you don’t love me

Da da da I don't love you you don’t love me, da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, aha

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, aha

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, aha

Ich lieb’ dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht

I know why you ran away, aha

Understand you couldn't stay, aha

Wonder where you are today, aha

After all was said and done

It was right for you to run!

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, aha

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, aha

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, aha

Ich lieb' dich nicht, du liebst mich nicht, da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me, da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Da da da

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Da da da I don't love you you don't love me

Puppets 2 (The rain)

 Song of the day;;

→ ERRA - Snowblood

Blood starved machine in a feeding frenzy

Don't look now, but the floor is collapsing

No escape, the plummet is everlasting

Sound awake in the bed I've made

Pull out the pin, sanity is a grenade

Dead and sound awake

You could lose yourself in the absence of loss

Reset and wander far away

Dead and sound awake, ambitions thrown away

Spirits washed away, you should know

Nothing lasts forever

Following footprints in circles, going snowblind

Exits overgrown inside the maze of my mind

Crawling out of the crypt to bleed the living dry

In this fantasy, the villains win, the heroes die

Slow diving to despair

Fuck it, I'm done, this is a waking nightmare

Blood starved machine in a feeding frenzy

Dead and sound awake

You could lose yourself in the absence of loss

Reset and wander far away

Dead and sound awake, ambitions thrown away

Spirits washed away, you should know

Nothing lasts forever

Black moon rising

Glimpse of madness

Blossom black rose

Withered, abandoned

Sorrowed, sleepless, alone

Sleepless nights, hearing voices

Faint whispers expand like disease

The dead are not dreaming

Can't you hear them screaming?

Oh

This is a waking nightmare

Crawling out of the crypt to bleed the living dry

In this fantasy, the villains win, the heroes die

Slow diving to despair

Fuck it, I'm done, this is a waking nightmare

The divine infection

 Song of the day;;

→ Elvis Presley - Always on My Mind (With the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra)

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

You were always on my mind

(You were always on my mind)

You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And I guess I never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

If I made you feel second best

Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind

(You were always on my mind)

You were always on my mind

Tell me

Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

Give me

Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done

I just never took the time

You were always on my mind

(You were always on my mind)

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

Maybe I didn't love you

Quite as often as I could have

Maybe I didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And I guess I never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

Maybe I didn't treat you

Quite as good as I should have

--

Ai jumalauta mikä saavutus; sain viikon keittiössä pyörineet tiskit vihdoin tiskattua. Keskiviikkona myös mun uudet lasit tuli, unohdin varmaan sanoa.

Burned at both ends

 Song of the day;;

→ Honig - Golden Circle

I haven't gotten anywhere

But I've been busy trying

Taken steps like little mice

With the heart of a lion

The songs that we sing

They turned our arms into wings

We'll meet again

In this golden circle we're in

We've been leaving little marks

We've been building fires

We've been burning our guitars

From the top of the pier

The songs that we sing

They turned our arms into wings

We'll meet again

In this golden circle we're in

The songs that we've sang

They turned our arms into wings

We'll meet again

In this golden circle we're in

And the road twists and turns

Call it a home, make a friend

And every town

Set a house and burn it down

We will spend the coming night

Under the stars

In castles we dreamed of

The songs that we've sang

They turned our arms into wings

We'll meet again

In this golden circle we're in

The songs that we've sang

They turned our arms into wings

We'll meet again

In this golden circle we're in

A-M-E-R-I-C-A

 Song of the day;;

→ Gideon - Cursed

Cursed

Just call me misery

Call me bad news

I'll bring you nothing but pain

Dragging this ball and chain

I was blessed with a curse

The devil knows me by name

You can run, hide

If it gives you peace of mind

Don't, slip, up

The worst is yet to come

Blame it on the bad luck, baby

Stay away from me

(Stay away from me)

Got me feeling like a black cat lately

I'll bring you to your knees

Cursed

I'm starting to break from bending

A losing streak that's never ending

Weed out the weak

I was washed in the pain

Redeemed by suffering

Everything around me falls apart

Is this punishment or just a test of heart

Or did Lady Luck just give up and turn her back on me?

You can run, hide

If it gives you peace of mind

Don't slip up

The worst is yet to come

Blame it on the bad luck, baby

Stay away from me

(Stay away from me)

Got me feeling like a black cat lately

I'll bring you to your knees

(So just) Blame it on the bad luck, baby

Stay away from me

(Stay away from me)

Got me feeling like a black cat lately

I'll bring you to your knees

Devil's night

 Song of the day;;

→ Ermo - ctrl + C ctrl + V

Preto no branco

Afiando-me a estas horas

Aliviando

Todo o peso foi embora

Preto no branco

Não tão claro como achava

Acizentava

Tudo o que me contornava

E agora?

Eu já perdi a minha lábia há bué de tempo

Já não pago às pessoas a quem me vendo

Se estou pior, não estou por cá, sei bem porquê

Ouvir a não há amor em SP

E eu cativo o meu lugar com o meu talento

Já não pago às pessoas a quem me vendo

Escrever ctrl + C ctrl + V

Ouvir a não há amor em SP

Preto no branco

Escrevo, a tinta não apaga

Ela obrigada

Agradeço a sua farsa

Preto no branco

Tento encontrar o que penso

Sinto-me imenso

Sem fronteira, nada fora

E agora?

Passo a passo paraliso

Mas eu faço o que é preciso

Black damask (The fog)

 Song of the day;;

→ Jacqueline Taieb - 7h du matin

Il est sept heures du matin

Faut s'réveiller

Ah, j'ai sommeil

Bon alors, un peu de musique

Pour se mettre en train

J'sais pas, moi

Quelque chose comme

Talking about my ge-ge-ge-generation

Ouais, c'est pas tout à fait ça 

J'trouve plus ma brosse à dents

Où est-elle passée, celle-là encore?

La bleue est à mon père

La rouge est à ma mère

La jaune est à mon frère

Z'avez pas vu ma brosse à dents?

Tiens, on est lundi aujourd'hui

Ah, pour demain, j'ai un devoir d'anglais

Hum, j'aim'rais bien avoir Paul McCartney

Pour m'aider 

J'ai envie de mettre un disque

Pour embêter les voisins

Qui roupillent toute la journée

Quelque chose comme un bon Elvis Presley

Ah, c'est vrai, celui-là, il en est resté à

Be bop boum rock bam boum

Un peu d'eau sur la figure

Pour me réveiller

Le dodo c'est terminé 

Je suis presque prête et ça va beaucoup mieux

Je mets mon shetland rouge ou bien mon shetland bleu?

Mon shetland rouge?

Mon shetland bleu?

Hum, mon shetland rouge

--

Paska päivä on paska.

Beautiful in blue

 Song of the day;;

→ Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster - Step Up (I'm On It)

Too long and too little

Tell me when you gonna bring it on

Small fights and big stages

Never terrified enough to run

It's here and I can hear it

I can see it like a setting sun

This feeling, I can take it

I take it in and then I move along

All lined up and built for pressure

(Step up, I'm on it)

Say your peace like it's the end

(Stand back, we're movin')

Low down or in the middle

Ain't enough to make me satisfied

It's all, all or nothing

Always starting on the highest high

You asked, so now you take it

I'll be gone before you hit your knees

Some things sting forever

Even if you never really bleed

All lined up and built for pressure

(Step up, I'm on it)

Say your peace like it's the end

(Stand back, we're movin')

One more push and this is over

(Stand down, you're done)

Hallelujah, brother, come on in

(Amen)

All lined up and built for pressure

(Step up, I'm on it)

Say your peace like it's the end

(Stand back, we're movin')

One more push and this is over

(Stand down, you're done)

Hallelujah, brother, come on in

(Amen!)

Goodbye, goodnight, for good

 Song of the day;;

→ Them Flying Monkeys - Halos

Halos swimming in the sea, and I’ll just watch the sun

To the brutal point of agony and just to be burned

And who knows, if you’ll be there to see, every night alone

Feel the back of misery between the light, and I don’t know

Halos swimming in the sea, until we both be sure, that you’ll

Be here so close to me, will make us endure

And you know, if you would come to me, all on you own

I would build the bridge that bonds us free, and leave the space between

Have a little conversation with me

--

Tänään on ollu aika normaali fiilis, ei oo huimannu eikä ollu huono olo eikä mitään. Jostain syystä tuntu vaan viime yönä siltä että havahuin joka kerta kun käänsin kylkiä mikä oli erittäin vittumaista. Pitäis opetella laittamaan nukkumaan aikasemmin... mut minkäs sille voi että luovuus kukkii parhaiten yöllä?

Early mourning

 Song of the day;;

→ Nazca - Sa(Ha)Ra

Le soleil y laisse des rayons

L'eau en est effrayée

Morceau de nature qui fane les bourgeons

 

Les corps indolents

Et leurs os desséchés

Réclament au ciel

Une pluie qui leur ment

Mais qui se fait la belle

Et qui se fait la belle

Mais qui se fait la belle

Et qui se fait la belle

 

Waka saana, waka saana, waka saana waka, waka saana

Sara, Sara, Sara, waka saana (x4)

Waka Saana

 

Rendez-vous des solitaires (Sara, Sahara)

Des grands, des téméraires (Sara, Sahara)

Rendez-vous solaire

 

Parfois le sable s'engourdit

Et pour chasser ses fourmis

Il s'étire en tempête

Et noie dans sa folie

Les âmes maigrelettes

Les âmes maigrelettes

 

Waka saana, waka saana, waka saana waka, waka saana

Sara, Sara, Sara, waka saana (x4)

Waka Saana

 

De l'Afrique terrain vague

On n'ose prononcer son nom

Que parce qu'on le confond

Avec les princesses des synagogues

Waka saana

 

Waka saana, waka saana, waka saana waka, waka saana

Sara, Sara, Sara, waka saana (x2)

Sahara, waka Sara

Waka Saana

--

Tänään ei oo muuten ollut huono olo, mutta on jotenkin huimannu ihan helvetisti. Nyt iltaa kohti tosin on jo parempi, mutta tuossa päivemmällä kiitin onneani siitä, että on pieni kämppä joten imuroimiseen ei mee kauan. Jospa se tästä.

Congratulations, I hate you

 Song of the day;;

→ One Morning Left - Sinners Are Winners

Young and restless, numb your senses

Party till you die and drink until you're breathless

Sleep is for the weak, you're a midnight freak

Shut your mouth and let your booty speak

Young and restless, numb your senses

Dance until you die, boogie woogie till you're breathless

You'll be rocking, till the morning

Shut up and let your hips do the talking

Why stop there you dance like you're on fire

Hold on tight cause I will take you higher

Wooh-oh, they say that love will set you free

But you can't love with a broken heart

So sinners are winners

Sinners are winners to me

Wooh-oh, they say that love will set you free

But you can't love with a broken heart

So sinners are winners

Sinners are winners

Drink another shot

Drink until you're hot

Drink until you drop

Drown your sorrows

Hands in the air like you just don't care

C'mon drown your sorrows

Young and restless, numb your senses

Dance until you die, boogie woogie till you're breathless

You'll be rocking, till the morning

Shut up and let your hips do the talking

Why stop there you dance like you're on fire

Hold on tight cause I will take you higher

Wooh-oh, they say that love will set you free

But you can't love with a broken heart

So sinners are winners

Sinners are winners to me

Wooh-oh, they say that love will set you free

But you can't love with a broken heart

So sinners are winners

Sinners are winners

Drink another shot

Drink until you're hot

Drink until you drop

Drown your sorrows

Hands in the air like you just don't care

C'mon drown your sorrows

Wooh-oh, they say that love will set you free

But you can't love with a broken heart

So sinners are winners

Sinners are winners to me

Wooh-oh, they say that love will set you free

But you can't love with a broken heart

So sinners are winners

Sinners are winners

Drink another shot

Drink until you're hot

Drink until you drop

Drown your sorrows

Hands in the air like you just don't care

C'mon drown your sorrows

Red cup, don't give a fuck if I live or die

Drink another shot

Drink until you're hot

Drink until you drop

Drown your sorrows

--

Tänään on ollu aika väsynyt fiilis, päähän koski aikasemmin mut se meni onneks ohi. Lisäks on tärisyttäny, siis muutenkin ko pelkkiä käsiä, ja huimannu. Yhessä vaiheessa oli hetken ajan ihan vitun paha olo, mutta sekin meni onneks ohi. Saa nähä miten kauan nää sivuoireet kestää. Ens viikolla mun uusien lasien pitäis tulla! Lisäks mulla on tiistaina silmänpohjakuvaus ja ette vittu ikänä arvaa mihin aikaan se on... jumalauta 8:34 aamulla. Mikä saatanan aika tuo on olevinaan?

Red and dying evening

 Song of the day;;

→ Grzegorz Bojanek - Transfer in Amsterdam

--

Alotin tänään uuden lääkkeen. Väsyttäny on aivan saatanasti (pakko oli pistää Netflix paussille ja jatkaa myöhemmin ko ei pysyny silmät enää auki), mikä luultavasti johtuu siitä lääkkeestä kun tää on erilaista väsymystä kun se semmonen normiväsymys. Illalla on myös särkeny päätä tässä ja vähän ollu sellanen huonohko olo, mut muuten ei mitään sen ihmeempiä. Lääkäri sano että jos siltä tuntuu niin voin ottaa ekan viikon joka toinen päivä ton lääkkeen mut ehkä mä uskallan mennä ihan sillein joka päivä kun ei tää nyt niin kamalaa ole. Pitäis varata aika kolmanteen rokotukseen mutta kattelin että niitä ei oo muualla kun jumalauta Limingantullissa mikä meinaa 30 minuutin bussimatkaa. No okei, on sille Ouluhallillekin joku ehkä 20 minuuttia mut silti. Pitää kattoa semmonen ajankohta, ettei oo samana päivänä yhtikäs mitään muuta.

Not a single word about this

 Song of the day;;

→ François Valéry - Aimons-Nous Vivants

Comme une envie de dire je t'aime

Quand on est au bout de soi-même

Quand il n'y a plus aucune raison de le cacher

Comme une envie de rêver tout haut, te dire enfin les mots qu'il faut

Les mots faciles qui ont le pouvoir de déranger

Et ce soir, je veux briser les ponts

Du silence, franchir le mur du son, le temps d'une chanson

Aimons-nous vivants, n'attendons pas que la mort nous trouve du talent

Aimons-nous vivants, s'il faut danser, je veux danser maintenant

Aimons-nous vivants

Aimons-nous debout, faisons la paix, faisons l'amour entre nous

Aimons-nous surtout pour ne plus jamais, jamais vivre à genoux

Aimons-nous vivants

Combien de larmes et de sourires, de mots qu'on n'a pas osés dire?

Dieu que le silence est une arme qui fait souffrir

Combien d'amours inavouées? Combien de passions condamnées

Au nom de ceux qui ne pourront jamais en mourir?

Mais ce soir, on va se dépasser

Faire la fête, au nom de l'amitié, simplement pour chanter

Aimons-nous vivants, n'attendons pas que la mort nous trouve du talent

Aimons-nous vivants, s'il faut danser, je veux danser maintenant

Aimons-nous vivants

Aimons-nous debout, faisons la paix, faisons l'amour entre nous

Aimons-nous surtout pour ne plus jamais, jamais vivre à genoux

Aimons-nous vivants

C'est vrai, on ne peut pas changer le monde

Je sais, mais je veux y croire une seconde

Aimons-nous vivants maintenant

Aimons-nous vivants, n'attendons pas que la mort nous trouve du talent

Aimons-nous vivants, s'il faut danser, je veux danser maintenant

Aimons-nous vivants

Aimons-nous debout, faisons la paix, faisons l'amour entre nous

Aimons-nous surtout pour ne plus jamais, jamais vivre à genoux

Aimons-nous vivants

And they call this tragedy

 Song of the day;;

→ As Within, So Without - Illuminate

Every day passes by like the flow of the wind

Reinventing myself just to crumble again

Will the weight of these words

Crash me down in the end

It's like an earthquake in my mind

The tsunami closes in

Mind over matter

We're bruised and battered

But in the end

What does it matter to you

I can climb

I can grow

I can do this on my own

You'll fall behind

Get lost in the limelight

So watch my waves rise

You can't block out my shine

No matter how hard you try

With the moon as my guide

I'll flow straight through the night

I'll show you that your poison words are your downfall

Tsukuyomi will you show me the way

Guide me through the dark

To my rightful place

In the eyes of Izanagi

I'm right in death's gaze

It's make or break

Or just drown in my mind

These chains will still remain

Locked away in my cage

I will never be the same

Will the thoughts in my mind

Ever be tamed

As the air leaves from my chest

I feel my body begin to numb

As the time stands still around me

Will I ever get back what I lost

Beneath the surface I've found desperation

A fear of what lies below

(What lies below)

As my annihilation

Calls out to desolation

As my heart sinks in

Will I make it out alive

Moon God

Raise my tide

Have my waves crash down

And my storms subside

Grant me passage through the dark

Illuminate my sky

Ending without stories

 Song of the day;;

→ The Mowgli's - Say It, Just Say It

Yeah, I will take your side

You make me feel like I've been waiting my whole life

And I could die

To find that simple kind of love you can't deny

Just say it

I wanna believe in your love again

Despite what anybody says

'Cause it ain't enough to mean it

When you feel it once

And you know it

So just say it

And you were sitting in the back of the car

Just sucking on your cigarette

But your eyes, they sold you out again

They always do, so say it

Just say it

Or at least kiss me just to shut me up

I will take your side

You make me feel like I've been waiting my whole life

And I could die

To find that simple kind of love you can't deny

Just say it

Been talking about it until I killed my voice

But it didn't change a single thing

It's that simple truth

That always means the most to you

And you know it

So just say it

And we were spilling wine on your best friend’s bed

When you said this was ridiculous

And you kissed me just because

You knew it'd shut me up

All right, woman, say it

Just say it

I will take your side

You make me feel like I've been waiting my whole life

And I could die

To find that simple kind of love you can't deny

Just say it

Say it like you mean it

Say it like you mean it

Baby, won't you stay awhile?

Say it like you mean it

Say it like you mean it

I'm begging you, baby, won't you stay awhile?

Yeah, I will take your side

You make me feel like I've been waiting

Feel like I've been

Yeah, I will take your side

You make me feel like I've been waiting my whole life

I will take your side

You make me feel like I've been waiting my whole life

And I could die

To find that simple kind of love you can't deny

And I could die

To find that simple kind of love you can't deny

Just say it

--

Huomenna onkin vittumaisesti sekä opintopsykologin tapaaminen (etänä siis) että terapia. Perkele. No, ei auta. Onneks sain nyt tänään tiskattua ja käytyä kaupassa, niin ei huomenna tarvi. Pyykkivuoron varaan suosiolla tiistaille...

Apology

 Song of the day;;

→ Jenny Hval - Sunbathing

Sunbathing, and she came down from above

Close my eyes and I feel like I'm in love

Wrapped in silk, how I got here I don't know

Tastes like milk and there's nowhere else to go

Soft red lips, slowly open wide

Honey drips and I long to feel inside

Deep and warm, the only to place to be

Sleep til dawn, then she does the same for me

Drawn fine line, heal my bad spine

Close together, now its all mine

Wake in sunlight, sunlight blеak white

Realise shе's gone

--

Olen mäkin saatanan hyödytön (siis senkin lisäksi etten saanu tiskattua tänään vaikka oli tarkotus... pakko huomenna). Skypetettiin tänään porukoiden kanssa, enkä mä saanut kerrottua, että oon nyt sairauslomalla. No jaa. Kaipa se jossain vaiheessa tulee esille.

The world calling

 Song of the day;;

→ So It Begins - Iremia

I'm in a state of mental panic

Relentless thoughts take hold of me

These possibilities seem so endless

Yet I'm frozen by anxiety

Restore the light

Cast off darkened countenance

Lift up your eyes

And soothe your troubled mind

And all that's trapped inside

Overwhelming and consuming

Draining me till I collapse from fright

Do your hands still guide me on this path I've taken?

Or do I stand alone, have I been forsaken?

Detrimental deprivation seeking to desensitize

Choking out the life from our dreams

No steps are taken, no progress made and I'm paralyzed

Searching for anything to gain momentum

Restore the light

Cast off darkened countenance

Lift up your eyes

And soothe your troubled mind

All that's trapped inside

Will I find peace amidst this chaos?

Before I sleep beneath the waves?

Inexplicably, I feel the storm calm

As once again I meet your gaze

Restore the light

Cast off darkened countenance

Lift up your eyes

And soothe your troubled mind

With my eyes set firmly on you

I will never sink again

Burn the night away

 Song of the day;;

→ Max Richter - H In New England

Sore winner

 Song of the day;;

→ Bez Ladu A Skladu - Génový inžinier

Génový inžinier

Už ma plán hotový

Ako nám zhotoví

Mozog celý plechový

Veď geniálny je ten jeho plán

Takýto mozog vám zhrdzavie aj sám

Bez bolesti a v pohode

Stačí ho namočiť vo vode

Môžeš sa udrieť do hlavy

Mozgu to vôbec nič nespraví

Možno sa trochu pokriví

No tomu sa už nik nediví

Veď geniálny je ten jeho plán

Takýto mozog vám zhrdzavie aj sám

Bez bolesti a v pohode

Stačí ho namočiť vo vode

I can't decide

 Song of the day;;

→ City State - Requiem

I felt the rush of love in my bones

But when your demons lashed out, it wasn't enough

After all, I couldn't hold you up and I woke up alone

I should've seen this coming

You were a shadow of the one that I loved

But I couldn't let go

I covered my eyes with the thought you would be fine

And when the sickness spread

It was free to take what was left

Take what was left that night

All of this to feel alive for one last time

I should've known, I should've seen it all along

Shadows creep under my eyelids

I don't think the night's ever been quite this cold

What will it take to escape my thoughts?

I thought I knew you, I thought I could see through you

I don't think the night's ever been quite this long

I'm shutting down, consumed by the signs that I should've seen

I always hoped when you fell away

You'd take me too

'Cause I'm lost now, stuck in place

I can't let go of you, let go of you

Time goes by, bleeds into the next life

All of this just to feel alive

For one last time, another meaningless high

All of this just to feel alive

I'm a stranger in my own home

Desperately searching for what went wrong

I'm already too far gone to find solace in your loss

 

I always hoped when you fell away

You'd take me too

'Cause I'm lost now, stuck in place

I can't let go of you, let go of you

Time goes by, bleeds into the next life

All of this just to feel alive

For one last time, another meaningless high

All of this just to feel alive

--

Nää lääkärikäynnit on kyllä aika tosi mielenkiintosia. Mut mä olen aika helpottunut. Kerrankin mut otettiin tosissaan. Lääkäri kirjotti mulle sairaslomaa heinäkuun loppuun asti, sain uudet lääkkeet ja luultavasti jossain vaiheessa pääsen päiväsairaalaan tän syömishäiriön tiimoilta. Lisäksi mulla alkaa jossain vaiheessa se psykofyysinen fysioterapia. Pitää huomenna muistaa laittaa Kelalle hakemus sairauspäivärahasta ja katkasta opintotuki. Lääkäri oli sitä mieltä, että mä olen liian pitkään laiminlyönyt omaa hyvinvointiani ja vaan pakottanu itteni eteenpäin ja nyt on korkia aika keskittyä omaan hyvinvointiin. Mä olen samaa mieltä ja tiesin kyllä, että kaikkien ongelmien hoitamatta jättäminen johtais vielä tähän. 

Stories

 Song of the day;;

→ Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet - Stay with Me

--

En tiiä mitä valehtelin, mut tarkistin asiat ja se ohjausaika onkin maanantaina. Hups. Kävin tänään näöntarkastuksessa ja toisessa silmässä ei muutoksia, toiseen vähän miinusta lisää.. miten helvetissä? Oisin oottanu et ois ollu enemmän mut no jaa. Kolmet lasit tulossa koska olin katellu niitä jo aikasemmin ja nyt ne kaikki oli tuolla myymälässä joten olin sillein fuck it. Huomenna lääkäri.

Just in time

 Song of the day;;

→ Vladimír Mišík - Variace na renesanční téma

Láska je jako Večernice

Plující černou oblohou

Zavřete dveře na petlice

Zhasněte v domě všechny svíce

A opevněte svoje těla

Vy, kterým srdce zkameněla

Láska je jako krásná loď

Která ztratila kapitána

Námořníkům se třesou ruce

A bojí se co bude zrána

Láska je jako bolest z probuzení

A horké ruce hvězd

Které Ti oknem do vězení

Květiny sypou ze svatebních cest

Které Ti oknem do vězení

Květiny sypou ze svatebních cest

Láska je jako Večernice

Plující černou oblohou

Náš život hoří jako svíce

A mrtví milovat nemohou

Náš život hoří jako svíce

A mrtví milovat nemohou

Deathbed

 Song of the day;;

→ Glass Hands - Bouquet

You said you found the bluebirds

Grow paler every day

We’re shedding off our fingers

Like it’s winter but it’s May

Ask if I could ever love him

With god’s black and white bouquet

That’s all they ever say

I’m only scared because I’m lost in the city

And my feet keep pulling me back to you

You don’t understand

I’ll be done when the satellites

Come down to pray to me

Do you think

You can make it that far without company?

And do you think

You can lie to yourself without lying to me?

And I’m lost in the city

Do you think

You can make it that far without company?

You’re so far away

And do you think

You can lie to yourself without lying to me?

It hurts more every day

I would spend most days watching colours grey

While these questions still lean on me

And through everything

I can barely see why I’d ever

Hide the truth again

Do you think

You can make it that far without company?

You’re so far away

And do you think

You can lie to yourself without lying to me?

It hurts more every day

Do you think

You can make it that far without company?

You’re so far away

And do you think

You can lie to yourself without lying to me?

It hurts more every day

Defying the spectrum

Condemning acceptance

You’ll never know what it’s like

To be rejected from heaven

Defying the spectrum

Condemning acceptance

You’ll never know what it’s like

To be rejected from heaven

Do you think

You can make it that far without company?

You’re so far away

And do you think

You can lie to yourself without lying to me?

It hurts more every day

Do you think

You can make it that far without company?

You’re so far away

And do you think

You can lie to yourself without lying to me?

It hurts more every day

--

Jopa oli vallan paska päivä.

Backbone

 Song of the day;;

→ Nick Cave & Warren Ellis - The Real Thing

--

Täällä taas. Lääkäri ei ookaan maanantaina vaan tiistaina (eh, ei pitäis ikänä luottaa omaan muistiin ko tietää kuin paska se on), joten varasin näöntarkastusajan nyt sit maanantaille. Laitoin myös eilen epätoivosuuksissani opintopsykologille ajanvarauspyynnön ja sain ens viikon perjantaiksi etätapaamisajan. Ihan kiva, ois nimittäin ihan jees saaja jotain tolkkua nyt näihin opintoihin kun ei nyt tunnu mikään oikein onnistuvan. Vuorakin nousee hieman yli kympillä, saatana.

Wish you away

 Song of the day;;

→ Sunset Rollercoaster - My Jinji

Every time you lie in my place

I do want to say

It’s you, you my babe

I won’t be too late

My Jinji don’t you cry

This world out of time

Of time out of mind

My Jinji please don’t cry

In this world, out of time

Time out of mind

(Out of mind)

Every time you lie in my place

I do want to say

It’s you, you my babe

I’m down to the drain

(Oh)

Jinji don’t you cry

This world out of time

Old time out of mind

My Jinji please don’t lie

In this world out of time

Time out of mind

(Out of mind)

Every time you lie in my place

I do want to say

It’s you, you my babe

It won’t be too late

Oh don’t leave me behind

Without you, I would cry

'Cause only you my baby

Only you can conquer time

Only you can conquer time

Oh sometimes I

Without you, I would cry

'Cause only you my baby

Only you can conquer time

Oh don’t leave me behind

Without you, I would cry

'Cause only you my baby

Only you can conquer time

Only you can conquer time

Oh sometimes I

Without you, I will cry

'Cause only you my baby

Only you can conquer time

Only you can conquer time

A little faster

 Song of the day;;

→ Call It Home - Look Away

I’ve lost all sense of the person I used to be

I wish I could just take back everything

Delete these oh so haunting memories

And start to finally see this clearly

Wash away the dust

Take it all in now

When you look back and all you felt was just lust

Do you feel proud?

Can you say you’re satisfied with how you lived?

I can’t rewind, can’t turn back time

It’s hard to look at myself now and realize

That I’ve lost my shot, it’s all I’ve got

And now I'm trying not to live in regret

I just wish that I could forget

Tell me a story

Of when we were all worth it

In a place that was built for kings

Tell me what you’ve done

Show me where it’s gone

Or was it this all along?

I’m trying hard to fix mistakes I’ve made

Searching for something to take this pain away

Sick of seeing things in shades of gray

Now it feels like my world is burning up in flames

I can’t rewind, can’t turn back time

It’s hard to look at myself now and realize

That I’ve lost my shot, it’s all I’ve got

And now I'm trying not to live in regret

I just wish that I could forget

Do you dream

Do you dream

Do you dream

You can go back

I wish that I could go back

I wish that I did things different

But the damage is already done

It’s something that I have to learn to live with

--

Lähdenkin vissiin jo perjantaina. Eipä tuolla niin mitään sen suurempaa väliä ole, ihan jees. Pitää varata näöntarkastusaika sekä kolmannelle rokotukselle aika. Maanantaina ois kivasti lääkäri, jee...

The remedy

 Song of the day;;

→ Jóhann Jóhannsson - Flight from the City

Lonely

 Song of the day;;

→ The Weakerthans - None of the Above

All night restaurant, North Kildonan

Luke warm coffee tastes like soap

I trace your outline in spilled sugar

Killing time and killing hope

This brand new strip mall chews on farmland

As we fish for someone to blame

But we communicate in questions

And all our answers sound the same

Under sputtering fluorescents

After re-fills are re-filled

Negotiations at a stand-still

Spoon and rolling saucer stilled

If you ask how I got so bitter

I'll ask how you got so vain

And all our questions blur together

The answers always sound the same

We can't look at one another

I'll say something thoughtful soon

But I can't listen to the quiet

So I hum this mindless tune

I stole from some dumb country rock star

And I don't even know his name

It's like my stupid little questions

The answers always sound the same

Tell me why I have to miss you so

Tell me why we sound so lame

Why we communicate in questions

And all our answers sound the same

--

Ahistaa ihan saatanasti opinnot taas. Pitäis varmaan ottaa opintopsykologiin yhteyttä. Tuntuu toivottomalta. Lauantaina mitä luultavimmin lähen takas Ouluun. Kiva mennä taas kämpille.

Turbo swag

 Song of the day;;

→ Sleep Waker - Melatonin

Wake up

Press my fingers against my eyes

Twist all the shapes inside my mind

You'll all be fine, just take what we gave you

When you sleep, where does your body lie?

There is something reminding me

That it all ends tonight

My veins slowly pulling me back into the needle's eye

Holding us down, forcing pain onto your dead eyes

You know they’re pulling me

Back into the needle’s eye

Come find me

And take your sleep

It’s not the kind you need, but something equally binding

Do we really know where our bodies lie

When we fall back asleep?

Just sit back and fall into dreams

You think you’ll see

The end of suffering

Just take your pill to pass the time

Look in the past

Stare in the blank face

Hallucinogens make you feel alive

Where do we go?

Sleep away all your life

Melatonin

Dreams haunting me

Shit

Come find me

And take your sleep

It’s not the kind you need, but something equally binding

Do we really know where our bodies lie

When we fall back asleep?

Just sit back and fall into dreams

Fumbles O'Brian

 Song of the day;;

→ Elliott Smith - Between the Bars

Drink up, baby, stay up all night

With the things you could do, you won't but you might

The potential you'll be, that you'll never see

The promises you'll only make

Drink up with me now and forget all about

The pressure of days, do what I say

And I'll make you okay and drive them away

The images stuck in your head

People you've been before that you

Don't want around anymore

That push and shove and won't bend to your will

I'll keep them still

Drink up, baby, look at the stars

I'll kiss you again, between the bars

Where I'm seeing you there, with your hands in the air

Waiting to finally be caught

Drink up one more time and I'll make you mine

Keep you apart, deep in my heart

Separate from the rest, where I like you the best

And keep the things you forgot

People you've been before that you

Don't want around anymore

That push and shove and won't bend to your will

I'll keep them still

--

Hyvää uutta vuotta vielä kerran kaikille! En tänään ehtinyt (no en kyllä edes muistanutkaan) kirjotella mitään mutta katotaan huomenna.